Driving by all the car dealerships on Rt 50 reminded me of the last time I bought a car. It was a grueling experience. I am sure you know what I am talking about.  It starts with a very friendly person helping you select the model and features. It then goes to the sticker shock stage. Then the ballet begins.  You start to leave. The salesperson follows and asks if you had a price in mind …and so it goes ending with “I will have to talk to my sales manager.”  Price is agreed and as you walk out the door you kick the dust thinking…” I should have held out for a lower price…the fact they accepted means I paid too much!”  Buyer’s regret is a fact in any negotiation. And the flip side is seller’s remorse.  It’s time to remember what my mother used to tell me, “Son, it’s not a perfect world…move on.”

The mediation process, is a form of negotiation.  Parties come to mediation with their own view of the problem, how it arose, and what the solution might be. Of course, if both parties saw things the same way, there would be no conflict. Mediation is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution that works together with both parties to find a common solution. 

Opening statements in mediation tend to be adverse, accusatory, and demand compliance with the presenter’s point of view.  Naturally, these divergent positions prevent an agreement.  That’s why they need the help of a mediator. The goal of mediation is to craft a settlement that is not perfect, but acceptable, to both parties. A skilled mediator will confidentially guide the conversation. Part of that process is to uncover each party’s motivation. Often the issue that is presented is one of several, and maybe not the most important issue to be resolved.  In the conversation, the mediator helps by restating positions in slightly different terms. This allows the position to be confirmed and fine-tuned, with less emotion and anger. If both sides can Identify the problem more clearly, and all its components, the chance of finding common ground is better.

That common ground, the settlement, is never going to be perfect for either party, and yes, as you leave mediation you are likely to be kicking the dust and wishing you had held out for a different outcome. The fact is, you will never know if a more favorable settlement was possible or if holding out longer for different terms would have sabotaged the settlement and sent you back to square one. There is great value in getting on with your life and leaving conflict resolved and behind you. It’s not a perfect world.

Steve Forrer, former dean, and vice-chancellor of the University of Maryland Global Campus, is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.

I was following a tow truck on Rt 50 the other morning with a nice, late model, BMW on the flatbed. Nothing seemed to be damaged.  Maybe German engineering failed and it broke down or maybe it was being repossessed. Seeking the return of property through the  Maryland courts is a two-step process. The legal actions are called Replevin and Detinue.  

The first step, Replevin, is the first legal action filed in the District Court where you seek the return of personal property, with possible damages regardless of the amount in dispute.  The property may be your late model BMW or your favorite aunt’s tea set. It allows for the possible return of the property based on a show cause hearing, a hearing held prior to the trial. In other words, the judge can order the property returned or the posting of a bond for its value, pending the trial.

Detinue is the second step and requires a trial to actually determine the rightful owner. For property values up to $5000 the action is filed in District Court. If a claim is between $5,000 and $30,000, the claim may be filed in either District or Circuit Court. Detinues for more than $30,000 must be filed in Circuit Court. Detinue is the legal action for the return of personal property or the property’s value, plus possible damages.

The Courts encourage parties to mediate these personal property cases. Mediation can occur at either stage of the process. Mediation allows the parties to confidently discuss the issues around the ownership of the property. The mediator’s job is to facilitate a conversation to help discover a mutually satisfactory settlement between parties.  They will not make the decision on ownership and will not provide legal advice. Mediation has a very important feature. The process puts the parties 100 percent in control of the outcome. In a trial the judge will decide who gets the property or financial equivalent.  Mediation allows a much more flexible settlement. It can allow payment terms, delivery conditions, timelines or any other terms that are mutually agreed. 

Whether the property issue concerns a dog, BMW or tea set mediation can provide a confidential and flexible process to settle where the property ends up or what financial compensation is satisfactory. For details go to https://mdcourts.gov/legalhelp/returnofproperty.

Steve Forrer, former dean and vice chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus, is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations

Award-winning home builder Paquin Design/Build added another piece of hardware to its collection recently, earning the title of “Favorite Business Owner” from local publisher Shore Update at their September 29th Golden Anchor Awards.

“This is a great honor and I am extremely humbled and proud of this recognition,” Brent Paquin said. “Our entire team is to thank for this award–it’s easy to be an effective leader when your staff shows up every single day motivated and ready to get the job done.”

This achievement follows other honors Paquin Design/Build has recently been awarded. In 2020, Paquin Design/Build was voted Best Home Builder in APG Chesapeake’s Best of the Best Community Choice Awards and is again a nominee in 2022. Furthermore, Paquin Interiors, a subsidiary of Paquin Design/Build, was voted Best Home Remodeling Company in 2020 and again in 2022 by Shore Update.

In addition to these honors, Paquin Design/Build’s homes have been featured for their quality and craftsmanship in regional publications such as Home and Design, Chesapeake Views Magazine, and What’s Up Eastern Shore.

“These awards and recognitions are possible because every team member at Paquin Design/Build and Paquin Interiors share the same pursuit of high-quality craftsmanship, professionalism, and customer service,” Paquin said. “We are a company comprised of people that live, work, and play here on the Mid-Shore. This is our home and we make sure everything we do helps lay a stronger foundation for the next generation of leaders to invest their efforts and talents here on Maryland’s Eastern Shore.”

This shared ethos continues to propel Brent and his companies from an award-winning homebuilding company to an award-winning community development company. Paquin Design/Build built the community of San Domingo Cove outside of St. Michaels and is set to deliver 12 homes in Easton Village when the community is fully developed. The company’s most ambitious project to date–Bellevue on the Tred Avon–recently broke ground in the spring of 2022 along the waterfront in Talbot County.

“We are excited to be delivering homes to Bellevue on the Tred Avon and the historic village of Bellevue,” Paquin said. “This will be the culmination of many skills my team has honed over the years and we hope to build many more communities like Bellevue on the Tred Avon in the future.”

For more information on Paquin Design/Build and Bellevue on the Tred Avon, visit www.paquindesignbuild.com or visit their offices at 500-A Saddler Road in Grasonville or their downtown Easton office at 110 N Washington Street.

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If you have children and are divorcing, then a parenting plan becomes a very important document. This plan, also called a custody and visitation agreement, is a written agreement describing how the parents will work together to care for their children. It generally covers two very important areas. These are a schedule for when the children will be with each parent, and how they will make decisions about the health, education, and welfare of their children.

Especially when a separation is difficult, a specific parenting agreement can avoid or reduce the need for costly and time-consuming litigation. If jointly drafted, a good parenting plan will be specific and personal to the needs of the parents and their children.  In the best case, the plan is jointly drafted by both parents. Who else knows the needs of your children better than those who have raised them and cared for them? The alternative is to leave very important decisions to a judge who knows very little about your family. In fact, the courts would prefer parents work together to come to a satisfactory parenting plan.

Drafting a parenting plan is not easy.  There are dozens of decisions to make. These include how the time will be divided between parties; how holidays and vacations are planned; authority over physical, mental health, and educational decisions. Reaching agreement on these matters can be difficult and emotional. Here mediation can be very helpful. A mediator is a neutral third party who helps guide the conversation to decisions that work best for all concerned. During the process, the mediator helps to keep the lines of communication open, create ideas, and assist in making decisions. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand. 

In some cases, divorce attorneys may suggest parties attend mediation to work through the parenting issues.  The parenting agreement will then become the bases for the divorce agreement. The court may also refer parties to mediation.

Mediation gives both parties more control over the decisions. They have more, and better, information than the court will ever have. Mediation offers more flexibility and creativity in finding solutions.  This is more likely to create a more durable agreement. 

Together with the parents, the mediator explores all aspects of family life. They will focus on the best interests of the child, which is the major concern of the court. They will help determine how often, and when, each parent will see the child and which home will become the primary residence. They will help decide which religion the child will be brought up in and which schools will be attended. Since implementing the plan will require coordination and planning, a communication plan between parents will be agreed on. The parenting plan may also have a dispute resolution section, appointing a mediator and/or facilitator to attend to any disputes that may arise between the parents and to intervene in circumstances where one parent breaches the plan.

The Maryland Courts website has a number of resources including very good videos on child custody. Go to https://mdcourts.gov and search “child custody” or call the Maryland Court Help Center 410-260-1392 8:30 a.m. – 8 p.m. Monday-Friday.

For a divorcing couple with children, creating a parenting plan is one of the most important tasks to accomplish successfully. Mediation can be an effective process to help both parties design a plan that works best for their children and for the parents, too.

Steve Forrer, former dean and vice chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus, is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations

The Spy was alerted to a rather odd study over the weekend by the mortgage company Lending Tree. That survey placed Easton as the 9th in the country for expensive homes.

While most of these communities were located west of the Mississippi, only Easton and Vineyard Haven on Martha’s Vineyard made the cut on the East Coast, which makes us slightly dubious of the results. Nonetheless, here is the top ten:

10 Towns in America With the Most Expensive Home Prices

Vineyard Haven, MA
Breckenridge, CO
Jackson, WY
Steamboat Springs, CO
Hailey, ID
Gardnerville Ranchos, NV
Hood River, OR
Juneau, AK
Easton, MD
Los Alamos, NM

The data used in this study comes from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2019 American Community Survey (five-year estimates). For this analysis, LendingTree used micropolitan-level data for areas with a population of between 10,000 and 50,000 to approximate town-level data.

The home value-to-income ratio was calculated for each town and metro by dividing an area’s median home value by its median household income. The larger the ratio, the more expensive homes are relative to an area’s median income.

Read the full report here.

You have both agreed to move on with your separate lives. Divorce. You can leave it up to the Talbot County Circuit Court to decide what do with all your property or you might choose the help of a mediator.

In Maryland, with some exceptions, all property obtained during the course of the marriage is generally considered marital property, regardless of who paid for it.  Normally, that includes such things as houses, cars, furniture, appliances, stocks, bonds, jewelry, bank accounts, pensions, retirement plans, and IRA’s. If you are splitting up there needs to be a decision as to who gets what, or the equivalent compensation.

There are basically three ways that it can go. The Talbot Circuit Court can make the decision for you or you can decide yourselves through mediation (or something called Collaborative Divorce), or some combination. If the parties are not in agreement on the division of property, then  Maryland’s Marital Property Act governs the division of property.  Under that act, all marital property is subject to what is called “equitable distribution.” That process is a complex one. The court first determines what property belonging to the couple is marital property.  It then determines the value of that property. Finally, the court determines who is entitled to what share of the valued marital property. It takes into account several factors. It can get complicated (see www.peoples-law.org/marital-and-non-marital-property-maryland). This has a down side, of course, as the divorcing couple has no control over the distribution of their property. That is where mediation can come in.

In Maryland, you cannot get divorced without going to the Circuit Court, but that does not mean you have to go to trial. Maryland offers “Mutual Consent Divorce” for couples who can come to an agreement on their own. Mediation can be a very efficient and cost-effective way to make dozens of important decisions about how marital property is divided. In mediation, the divorcing couple are guided through a conversation and decision-making process by a neutral party. The mediator will not take sides. They will not offer legal advice, so in some matters an attorney can be helpful. 

Mediation puts the divorcing couple in control.  There is no way a judge, who might hear several divorce cases a month, can possibly know your situation, interests, and values like you do. Mediation allows the parties to control how the property is divided, is quicker and less expensive. Because mediation is confidential, it also keeps personal information out of the public record. Mediation is less adversarial than litigation and reduces lingering animosity and distrust. It can help restore a working relationship between the parties. This is especially important if there are children, as many parenting decisions will need to be jointly made following divorce.

As part of the process of mediating the division of marital property, you will need to gather several documents, for example: real estate and vehicle valuation, savings and checking account balances, value of financial assets like stocks and bonds. You will need to determine the value of personal property like the contents of all homes owned, jewelry, art, antiques and other collectibles of significant value.  This information will provide the basis for the mediation.

Choosing mediation does not cause you to lose your right to litigate your divorce in front of a judge. You still have the option of going to court.  With some exclusions, any information shared during mediation will remain confidential. Mediation can save time and expense and, most importantly, give the parties control over the division of their property. For more information about divorce in Maryland go to https://mdcourts.gov/legalhelp/family/divorce.

Steve Forrer is in Easton. He is formerly Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus. He is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.