In Talbot County, all divorces are handled by the Circuit Court. In 2020 of the 1231 cases filed in Talbot Circuit Court, 186 were divorces. Many divorcing couples use mediation. There are many benefits. The process is less adversarial than litigation, which reduces animosity. Couples work together with a mediator to work through dozens of questions in a constructive process that can help preserve a future working relationship. This is especially important if the couple have children.  Mediation is much less emotionally harmful, and better overall, on children. They would much rather see their parents working together than be in conflict. In fact, mediation often teaches ways to communicate that can be used later when discussing parenting issues that are bound to come up. Divorce mediation is the most child-focused of all the divorce processes.

Mediation gives both parties more control over the decisions. They have more, and better, information than the court will ever have. And mediation offers more flexibility and creativity in finding solutions.  This is more likely to create a more durable agreement. 

 The legal system moves slowly and can be expensive. A fairly complex divorce mediation might take five or six 2 hour sessions. The length depends, of course, on the issues to be resolved and the couples’ willingness to agree and compromise. The time required can be shortened by the parties agreeing ahead of time on issues, thereby reducing the number that need to be mediated. Homework and preparation will also insure the best outcome in each area being mediated. For example, coming to mediation with lists of assets, ownership, and values will move discussions along more quickly. 

There are several major areas covered by divorce mediation to include marital property, financial assets, and parenting. The role of the mediator is to help work out agreements on these issues. This can take time and hard work. During the process the mediator helps to keep the lines of communication open, create ideas, and assist  in making decisions. Mediators help keep the couple focused on the issues at hand. A divorce mediator is neutral and doesn’t represent either party. 

Using a mediator in your divorce does not necessarily mean divorcing couples do not need legal advice and help. They generally do. There are often complex legal questions concerning property, retirement plans, alimony, and child support. However, the efficiency of mediation can provide attorneys with settlement instructions concerning many issues that have already been decided. Using mediation will not cause you to lose your right to litigate your divorce in front of a judge.  Information shared during mediation will always remain confidential. 

As you make joint decisions concerning the terms of your divorce, the mediator will draft a document called a Memorandum of Understanding.  It will summarize, in detail, the results of the mediation. 

Divorce mediation is the most flexible of divorce methods. It gives the couple control over the terms of the divorce by creating an agreement that meets, to the extent possible, each parties’ needs in a process that is civil, constructive, and forward looking. 

Steve Forrer lives in Easton. He is formerly Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus. He is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I could not find the statistics for Talbot County, but according to CNBC, the average US household with debt, including credit cards, auto loans, mortgages, now owes $155,622.  All together that is$15 trillion. Just to put it in context, the US Gross Domestic Product is about $20 trillion. The average amount of debt by generation in 2020 was:

• Gen Z (ages 18 to 23): $16,043
• Millennials (ages 24 to 39): $87,448
• Gen X (ages 40 to 55): $140,643
• Baby boomers (ages 56 to 74): $97,290
• Silent generation (ages 75 and above): $41,281

It is fair to say that most of us in Talbot County have some debt. That is not necessarily a bad thing, as it allows us to own a home or a car. However, during the recent pandemic many families lost jobs and found themselves behind with payments. In fact, the average amount of debt in collections in Maryland is $1,105.

Most credit card companies will contact you and attempt to make arrangements to help you pay. There are times, however, when they basically give up trying to recover what is owed. They are in the loan business, not the debt collection business. To recover some of their loss they “sell” the debt to a debt collection company. These companies buy the debt for pennies on the dollar and then hope they collect more than they have paid. You can be assured that they will try their best to collect. That’s how debt collectors make their money. They will contact you for payment. If you do not pay, or if you do not respond, the debt collector is likely to sue you in Maryland District Court. The District Court can hear matters where the amount sought, excluding interest and costs, is $30,000 or less. If you find yourself in court you may want to get legal advice. It is free if you use The Maryland Court Help Center (410-260-1392).

If you are being sued in District Court you may have the option of using mediation to help settle the debt. A mediator is a neutral facilitator who will guide the parties through a conversation that will provide a solution acceptable to both. The mediator will not take sides and will not offer solutions, but will help you find them. The offer for mediation will come from the District Court Alternative Dispute Resolution Office prior to your trial date. Watch for it.

The good news about mediation is that it puts both parties in control of the outcome and you do not lose any legal rights to a trial should you not settle. Because mediation is confidential, no information shared during the mediation can be used later in court. Mediation also gives the parties considerable flexibility concerning the terms of the settlement.

If both parties agree to mediation, they must both realize neither will get exactly what they want. The debt collector will not get every dollar owed and the other party will have to pay something. However, the terms of the settlement can be flexible. For example, payment may be made over time or at a reduced amount. This can allow a settlement that works for both parties while lowering the risk of not knowing how a judge will rule.

Mediation, whether through the court system or private, is a low-risk option that can be very helpful in settling bad debts and allowing you to move on with the rest of your life.

Steve Forrer lives in Easton. He is former Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus. He is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.

Think about the Talbot Boys controversy. Two sides with very different points of view. Does the statue stay or get moved? I am sure that, like me, every mediator asked themselves, “Could I successfully guide the two parties to an acceptable settlement.”  For sure, it would not have been easy. Luckily, most other disputes we face, whether community- based or private issues, are not so complex and politically charged. 

After all, mediation is about reaching agreement. The process is guided by a trained mediator whose job is to guide disputing parties to a common understanding and agreement.  In mediation, the parties decide the outcome together, not the mediator, judge, jury or in the case of the Talbot Boys, the County Council.  This gives the parties great flexibility in creating a settlement. Naturally, the last step in successful mediation is to create and sign a settlement document. In a court-referred mediation, that will become the basis for a court order and case dismissal. What makes a good settlement document?

The document is created by the parties under the guidance of the mediator. It should reflect accurately the “meeting of the minds” and, to the extent possible, reflect their language.  Generally, the document will be very specific, and the more specific the better, as it avoids later confusion. 

The parties will be named. Given names may be used, or in court-referred mediations, Plaintiff or Defendant might be used. Why the parties are agreeing on terms will also be described. For example, “The Parties have voluntarily agreed to the following in an effort to resolve case D-21-12345.”

Details of the settlement are important to include.  For example, when each party will perform on what they agreed. This would include dates, amounts of payments, form and schedule of payments, or types and quality of repairs. Place of performance also should be described in detail. This would include addresses where payments should be sent and by what method. In parenting agreements, the terms will be very specific, including definitions like when does the weekend start, what does “after school” mean.   Last, there should be a procedure to follow if the agreement needs to be changed. That often includes returning to mediation. 

The goal of the settlement document is to memorialized the hard work of the mediation and to provide very specific actions for both parties to follow. You will be asked to voluntarily sign the settlement agreement. Once you do, it generally becomes binding. Never sign an agreement if there is something you don’t understand. In that case, have a lawyer review it before you sign. You can get free advice from the Maryland Court Self-Help Centers. You can speak to or chat live with lawyers at the Self-Help Center on most weekdays from 8:30 a.m. to 8 p.m. These lawyers cannot represent you in court, but they can give you brief advice. Call 410-260-1392. Or chat live at mdcourts.gov/selfhelp.

There is one more thing to consider. Mediation will help you reach a better understanding of the situation between you and the other party. However, it does not always result in an agreement. If you don’t reach an agreement on some or all of the issues, you don’t lose any rights. You can still have your conflict resolved through the court. Because mediation is confidential, what is said in mediation can not be used in court.

Steve Forrer lives in Easton and is former Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus. He is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.