There is a famous quote by Ronald Reagan, “Peace is not the absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceable means.” Conflict is one of life’s constants.  You did not get your security deposit back from the landlord. As a divorcing couple, you want to decide how to split marital assets.  Your neighbor insists on practicing their drums late into the night.  Many conflicts are quickly resolved, but others are more of a challenge. Emotions can quickly get in the way of a rational request and conversation.  Mediation is often the answer to finding a resolution. A mediator will not provide legal advice and they will not decide the outcome of the dispute. They will, however, put the conflicting parties in control of the outcome by facilitating a conversation that will lead to a settlement.  That settlement will not be perfect, but will satisfy both sides. 

Once you have decided mediation might work, the question becomes how do you find a mediator? If you have a case that has been filed in court you have the option of requesting mediation prior to a trial. In Maryland District Court you can make that request on the forms you file. By checking the request for Alternative Dispute Resolution box, the ADR Office will contact you and facilitate the assignment of a mediator from an approved roster.  In the Circuit Court, the judge may order parties to mediation and assign a mediator

You can also go directly to the Court’s Alternative Dispute Resolution Resource Guide at mdcourts.gov/macro/adr-resourceguide. On the webpage, you can use a searchable database of private mediators who have experience with your specific situation. Or use the county guides to find a community mediation program in your area. These programs are located across the state and have a roster of trained and approved mediators. You can contact these programs directly. Simply Google “community mediation near me.” 

You can also find a mediator in private practice. One resource is www.mediate.com. That site allows a search by area code and by mediation topic. Remember, you and the other party must agree on who will serve as the private practice mediator. Last, if you have an attorney, ask them to provide a referral. 

As you select a mediator there are questions you will want to ask.  Ask the mediator to describe the process and what you can expect during mediation. Ask about the length of a typical session and where it will take place. Are on-line sessions via Zoom available?   Does the potential mediator have experience with your type of case?  You should also ask about cost. Private practice mediators will typically charge an hourly fee for their time. Court-based mediation programs have set fees or, in the case of District Court, are free.  Community mediation centers generally offer their services for free or on a sliding scale.

The first step, that is deciding to use mediation to settle a dispute is the most important. Once that joint decision is made, there are many resources to help you find a mediator to help. 

Steve Forrer, former dean and vice chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus, is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations

Driving on the St. Michaels Road the other day I came across a minor fender bender. To say the least, there was an “active” conversation going on between the two drivers. By the time I came back the other way, both drivers were calmly exchanging information. It reminded me that disputes happen every day. They might be with your roofer, your spouse about dividing marital property,  or settling an insurance claim. All these disputes are fair game for mediation. Whether court-referred or private, mediation is a process where a trained, impartial mediator helps people communicate, understand each other, explore options for mutual gain, and reach an agreement that is satisfactory to both parties.

Traditionally in Talbot County mediation sessions have been held face to face, but with the COVID outbreak many sessions are now being held using Zoom, and with considerable success.  Regardless of the format, the process might sound a bit daunting.  It’s not, if you understand the basics. Here  is the good news about mediation.

First, mediation is confidential. What is said in mediation cannot be used in court at a later date.  The mediator may not be called to testify about any mediation communications, and will keep all conversations and information confidential. Why is this important? It allows the parties to freely, and creatively, suggest and discuss solutions that the court could never consider or even imagine. This does not mean you cannot discuss ideas and solutions outside of mediation. You can, for example, get input from advisors, or family, as you consider options.

Second, mediation is completely voluntary. Parties can leave the mediation session at any time. Participants cannot be forced to agree to anything. Settlements reached are only final when there is voluntary agreement by all parties.  In court-referred mediation, if the parties do not reach agreement, they can still proceed with their case in court. No legal rights are lost by participating in mediation.

Third, mediation puts you in control. The mediator will not act as a decision-maker or judge. Their job is to remain impartial and facilitate the process.  Mediators will not give legal advice or make decisions. Keep in mind if you go to court, the resulting court decision will be based on a very narrow question. For example, exactly how much money must be paid. However, in mediation the parties decide what solutions will work best for them. That might include a financial payment, but also other conditions like confidentiality or restrictions on further claims.  In mediation you have the opportunity to add conditions and solutions that would be beyond what the courts can require. This control can lead to very creative agreements, as long as they are legal.

A successful mediation will result in a written summary of the settlement for the parties to use going forward. This understanding, for example, can be used to instruct divorce attorneys or become a court order in a court-referred mediation.  

Mediation is hard work. The process can be emotional and difficult. While expressing your views you will, at the same time, need to understand the views of the other party. You are not likely to have all your “wants” met. The process features give and take, which always involves compromise. 

Steve Forrer lives in Easton, is former Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus, is currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted here for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.

Editor’s note: For almost as long as we have been publishing the Spy newspapers, we have been in awe of the various nonprofit organizations like Community Mediation Upper Shore in Chestertown and Mid Shore Community Mediation Center in Easton, who have successfully resolved countless family conflicts, student feuds, and bad neighbor relations through this very effective method of conflict resolution. We felt this subject was important enough to establish a column with the help of the former Dean of University of Maryland Global Campus, Steve Forrer, to discuss every other week how mediation can be used to encourage our Dorchester, Kent, and Talbot Counties to embrace this remarkable tool even more in the future. Steve begins his column today in all three Spy newspapers. 

Even though Talbot County and Easton are truly a wonderful place to live, we are not immune to disputes, conflicts, and disagreements. They are all part of life in every community. The challenge, of course, is how to resolve them and move on. Often these issues end up in the Talbot County Courts. In 2020 Talbot County Courts had over 10,000 cases filed.  Things can get pretty busy. The Talbot County Courts often turn to “alternative dispute resolution” to help save time and money, and clear their dockets. Mediation is one of the important ADR processes.

Of course, mediation is also useful to resolve issues outside of the court system. Over the following weeks, I will be sharing information about mediation and how it can save time and money. I will be answering questions you might have about how mediation works, how to find a mediator, what it costs, and in what areas, including divorce, it can save time and money. But first things first. What is mediation exactly?

Simply stated, mediation is a process where a trained and impartial mediator helps people to communicate, understand each other, explore options for mutual gain, and if possible, reach agreements that satisfy the participants’ needs. A mediator will never provide legal advice or recommend the terms of any agreement. Instead, the mediator helps participants reach their own decisions which may include agreements, rebuilding relationships, and finding lasting solutions to disputes. Mediation is a process that lets people speak for themselves and make their own decisions. 

Mediation is often confused with arbitration. There is a big difference. In arbitration, facts and information are presented to a neutral third party and that third party decides the outcome, which is binding on both parties. In mediation, however, the parties to the dispute have the opportunity to jointly decide on the outcome. They are in control of the resolution, not an arbitrator, judge or jury. In a court-encouraged mediation, therefore, the court is saying to the parties, “Here is a chance for you to control the outcome of the dispute.” The good news is that the parties have much more flexibility and creativity in crafting an agreement versus a court that can only decide a very narrow question. Mediation allows the parties to agree to any terms, as long as they are legal. 

The important thing to understand about mediation is that it requires flexibility, compromise, and often creativity. You must consider the other party’s position and be willing to craft an agreement that satisfies both parties. By definition that means an outcome that is acceptable, but not perfect.

Whether within the court system or not, mediation is a very powerful process to resolve conflict quickly and with much less expense while putting both parties in control of the outcome.

Let me invite you to submit any questions you might have about mediation through the contact page on the website listed below. I will do my best to answer them directly or in this column. 

Steve Forrer lives in Easton, is  former Dean and Vice Chancellor of University of Maryland Global Campus, and currently a mediator for the Maryland District and Circuit Courts. Questions can be submitted at www.doncastermediation.com/contact for Steve to answer in this column. He also accepts private mediations.