After last week’s election results were reported, I have had many tearful conversations with friends and relatives who have children. Here are some of the questions these women asked.

Almost every day I tell my children how important it is to be kind. How do I defend the winning candidate who relentlessly made vicious and unkind comments about his opponent and others?

My child’s biggest obsession is the state of our planet. How do I comfort her in her distress about a candidate who doesn’t acknowledge the existence of climate change and who has threatened to dismantle the Environmental Protection Agency? It’s the year 2024 which scientists have proclaimed to be the hottest recorded year in history.

I have two beautiful biracial children. How do I assuage their worried looks when they realize that the candidate who called his opponent–a woman of color–dumb as a rock, lazy as hell, retarded, low-IQ, and not that attractive?

I spend my days telling my young sons how important it is to treat women with respect and dignity. How do I explain that the candidate who won called women bitches, fat pigs, and ugly as sin. And what do I say when they ask if it is true that more than half the country is OK with that?

My daughter just went off to college in a state that doesn’t allow a woman to have control over her own body. What should I recommend when she asks if she should apply to other colleges in other states that still have that right?

In their school, my children have initiated drives to support the children of Ukraine. What should I tell them when they worry about what will happen to Ukraine’s children now that the President-Elect has threatened to cut much needed aid?

I have a disabled child. Many of the special needs programs which we rely on may now be cut. What options will my child have?

We have relatives in Europe who have asked my children, “What the hell happened?” My children say they are embarrassed to live in this country. How do I defend this democracy?

My daughter works for the State Department. She is a dedicated civil servant who works hard and is committed to the cause. She is worried about losing her job as are many of her friends. The President-Elect has threatened to cut hundreds of civil service jobs and replace heads of various agencies with supporters who have no federal experience. How can I reassure her that everything will be OK? 

I asked, “How did you respond to these questions?” Here’s what they said.

You continue to do the right thing. Treat others the way you want them to treat you. 

You are right to be concerned about the planet. Let’s do our part to reduce the effects of global warming. Remember that one oyster can filter 50 gallons of water in one day. Let’s become oyster gardeners which will improve the quality of water in Chesapeake Bay.

 Be Kind. Treat women with respect and dignity. You will love yourself. And others will love you for it.

 Let’s talk about whether you should transfer to another college in a state that has laws with which you are more comfortable. 

We will keep sending care packages to Ukraine’s children. Now they need them more than ever.

Let’s do more research on various programs that help children with special needs. Don’t give up hope. We are here for you. 

Every country has highs and lows. The next election is in two years. Traditionally that means a lot of change. Keep the faith. Almost every country on earth has succumbed to craziness at some time in its history. 

Continue to do your important work to the best of your ability. Start to think about possible alternatives should your job be eliminated. 

One friend said she went into her bedroom, shut the door, and cried again. Then she sighed, took some deep breaths, went back into the family room, and asked, “What should we have for dinner?” 

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, music, and nature.

 

  

The U.S. is anxious. No question about it. What will happen if Trump wins? If Harris wins, will there be another insurrection? How long will it be until we know the results of the election? Once we know the outcome, will we be able to handle the results? These are questions swirling around the minds of many Americans. 

So, what to do about these feelings of anxiety? Here are some helpful tips from the experts.

First, know that a certain amount of anxiety is normal. Accept it. Don’t avoid your anxious thoughts. Share them with a friend or family member who can help put things in perspective. 

Meditate for 15 minutes three or four times a day. Several different kinds of meditation techniques can be helpful. Apps, books, YouTube videos and more can help you begin the process.

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day—walk, run, swim, cycle. Yoga and stretching are also helpful. Exercise can have the same effect as meditation and help clear your mind. 

Take a break from all the stimuli around you. Shut off the TV, radio, and cell phone for significant periods of time during the day. 

Pursue a creative outlet. Paint. Play the piano, guitar, or another instrument that interests you.

Take your mind off politics by playing mahjongg, chess, bridge, or other games with friends.

Keep a journal. Journaling can help you understand the issues of the day and work out possible solutions. 

Take 30 minutes to unwind before you go to sleep in the evening. Consider taking a warm bath. Warm milk is also a good idea. Drink organic decaffeinated teas. Listen to calming music or soothing sounds.

Do some kind of cathartic activity. Clean your closet, your garage, or office. In essence, do spring cleaning in the fall. 

Escape by reading a light novel or watching a comedic film.

Limit alcohol and caffeine. Both can heighten and intensify feelings of anxiety. 

Explore nature. Take a nature hike. Go to a botanical garden. Search for butterflies. Go birding. Pick wildflowers. Plan next season’s garden.

Kahlil Gibran once said, “Our anxiety does not come about thinking about the future, but from wanting to control it.” 

Many of us have done all we can this election season. We have canvassed, written postcards, donated money, written letters, and more. At this point, the outcome is out of our hands.

Let’s pray for a peaceful transition of power. Let’s renew our faith in America. And remember what Kierkegaard once wrote, “Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.” 

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, music, and nature.

I must admit that I find myself depressed about the state of our union. When I lived in DC, I was tapped into the political scene in both Republican and Democratic administrations and often had robust and interesting discussions with friends and colleagues about politics. Sometimes discussions were quite spirited, but they were also open, interesting, and chock full of factual information. I benefited from hearing different points of view, and I understood why some friends voted for Reagan, or Bush, or Romney. 

But this time it’s different. 

My depression stems from the fact that so many Americans seem to have no regard for a person’s character—qualities that include respect, kindness, and humility. Today many Americans are OK with a candidate who says mean and degrading things about opponents, women, disabled people, veterans, and immigrants. 

Crude and mean-spirited comments? No problem. Downright lies? Keep them coming. 

The recent rude and cruel name-calling has opened up a pandora’s box of vitriol, which, as my mom used to say, is singularly unattractive. 

Americans used to care about good vs evil, truth-telling vs false witness, 

When the historian Richard White writes about the Gilded Age, he explains that judgments of character had less to do with honesty and integrity and more to do with getting things done while exhibiting strength. Many studies show that in today’s world Americans tend to put character aside and vote for candidates who can promote their economic and social well-being. 

I have seen evidence of this theory. Some of my acquaintances care only about one thing—lower taxes. Many of these same people own more than one house and are quite well off financially. They have chosen to put their own personal pocketbooks ahead of every other issue—the environment, healthcare, education, gun control and, of course, character. 

So perhaps what is happening in today’s world is people are prioritizing one issue. For some, it’s taxes. For others, it’s right to life. For others, it’s exactly the opposite—a woman’s right to choose. And for still others, it’s immigration and so on. 

It is easy to see why people get disillusioned about politics. 

The Stoics claimed that character consisted of four core virtues:  Wisdom—the ability to make sound choices; justice—the ability to determine what is fair; courage—the ability to “do the right thing” even when there is personal risk; and temperance—the ability to control emotions and impulses and exhibit self-control. 

I say the Stoics got it right. It makes sense to examine all aspects of a candidate’s character. It is easy to become self-absorbed, and it is hard to be courageous. Just ask the many subscribers to The Washington Post who have canceled their subscriptions just hours after the paper declared that it would not endorse a candidate this year or in subsequent years. Bezos made that decision because he has billions of dollars in government contracts with both Amazon and Blue Origin. He didn’t want to risk any backlash should Trump win the election. Self-absorbed and lacking courage?  My case rests. 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Only a man’s character is the real criterion of worth.”  Let’s be sure to put character on the ballot when we consider the candidates who are worthy of our vote next Tuesday. 

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, music, and nature.

By now, we are very familiar with Donald Trump’s mantra, “Make America Great Again.” Trump supports that mantra with his “America First” and “Buy American” agenda. My mom used to always tell me to practice what you preach. And judge people not by what they say but what they do. Let’s take a closer look at exactly what Trump preaches and what he does to support his mantra and agenda.

Currently Trump markets an abundance of products. These products include hats, towels, teddy bears, flags, dog collars, cups, mugs, t-shirts, flip-flops, beach balls, bobbleheads, trading cards, sneakers, and so much more. A huge percentage of that merchandise is made in China. A recent YouTube video shows a guy wandering through the store in Trump Tower trying to find merchandise made in the U.S. He found some items that were not made in China. Instead, they were made in Bangladesh, Haiti, Lesotho, Canada, Italy, and Scotland.

After the first assassination attempt, Trump had factories in Taiwan pumping out commemorative t-shirts showing him bleeding and fist pumping while being carried away by the Secret Service. 

Of late, Trump’s merchandise hawking has heated up. We’re talking commemorative coins (they sell for $100 and contain $30 worth of silver), God Bless the USA and Make America Pray Again bibles, and training sneakers. Last week, Trump announced he is selling Fighter watches retailing at $499 or $799, depending on the style. Another status watch in his collection retails at $100,000. Many members of the “status watch community” claim that these watches are “patently unoriginal and vastly overpriced.” Experts also say these watches “scream Chinese-made.” 

In addition, Trump buys many of his own suits, ties, and dress shirts from China. Much of the furniture in Trump establishments—cabinets, tables, desks, etc.—is made in China. 

Before Ivanka Trump shut down her fashion line, more than 800 items, including dresses, purses, and scarves in that line, were manufactured in China. 

In campaign speeches across the country, Trump claims he will impose a 60 percent tariff on goods from China and an up to 20 percent tariff on everything else the U.S. imports. To punish John Deere for its plans to move some production to Mexico, Trump promises to tax anything Deere tries to export back to the U.S. at 200 percent. He also has suggested hitting the Mexican made goods brought back to the U.S. with a 100 percent tariff which would negate his own administration’s deal with Mexico and Canada. For whatever reason, Trump seems to have it in for Mexico. 

Trump claims that foreign countries will suffer from these tariffs. Most economists beg to differ. They are not high on the tariff strategy. Economists claim that tariff retaliations from other countries will hurt the U.S. economy and cause inflation. Basically, they say that companies pass on the higher costs to their customers, so consumers usually end up paying more for goods. 

So, where does this all lead? Why any American buys into Trump’s whole tariff Ponzi scheme escapes me—especially when espoused by a guy who reliably turns to China for his next Trump-branded product in his never-ending quest for get-rich-quick schemes. 

And, on another note, let’s just confront the gargantuan, almost obscene, sums of money both parties are spending on their campaigns this year. So far, the Harris campaign has spent $743 million, and the Trump campaign has spent $426 million. And do not get me started on the spending in the state and local campaigns. The situation is beyond out of control. It is past time to institute sane campaign financing regulations. No other country on earth, even proportionally, spends anywhere close to what the U.S. spends on elections. 

In closing, here’s a quote by the author Hermann Hesse, “Even in him, even in your great teacher, I prefer the thing to the words, his actions and his life are more important than his speech, the gestures of his hand more important than his opinions.”  

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, and nature.

 

Political campaigns offer the opportunity to study the power of rhetoric—techniques speakers use to inform, motivate, and persuade their audiences. It has been that way since ancient Greek and Roman times–times of Aristotle, Plato, and Cicero. Today both right- and left-wing rhetoric is heating up. That is worrisome.

Hateful rhetoric can cause listeners to feel powerless and lead to violence. Uplifting rhetoric can motivate people to action—to mobilize, campaign, vote. The jury is out whether Trump‘s campaign rhetoric extolling doom, gloom, and chaos if he is not elected vs. Harris’ campaign rhetoric of joy, turn the page, and hope will rule the day. 

Let’s take a look at the rhetoric of the four candidates. 

Here are some recent statements from Republican VP Candidate J.D. Vance.

“The big difference between conservatives and liberals is that no one has tried to kill Kamala Harris in the last couple of months, and two people now have tried to kill Donald Trump in the last couple of months.” 

“We’ve never had a faker, more fraudulent person run for president of the United States, and we have to remind people of that every single day.” 

“With close to 500 patriots in the state of Michigan in this building right now and outside, I’d like to see an assassin try to come in this room.” 

Here are some recent comments from Democratic VP Candidate Tim Walz.

“This country needs two functioning political parties, at least. We don’t need one, a cult on the other side, we do not need that.” 

“In Minnesota, we respect our neighbors and the personal choices they make. And even if we wouldn’t make those same choices for ourselves, we’ve got a golden rule: mind your own damn business.” 

“Good leaders don’t spend all day insulting people and blaming people. Leaders do the work. I don’t know about you all, but I’m ready to turn the page on these guys. So go ahead, say it with me, “we’re not going back.” 

Here are some comments by Republican Presidential Candidate Donald J. Trump

“She’s a Marxist, communist, fascist, socialist.”

If I don’t win this election—and Jewish people will have a lot to do with that–, 60 percent are voting for the enemy—Israel will cease to exist in two years.”

“Their rhetoric is causing me to be shot at, when I am the one who is going to save the country, and they are the ones that are destroying the country—both from the inside and out.”

“In Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in, they’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people who live there.”

“They’re not after me, they’re after you. I’m just standing in the way.” 

“The Rhetoric, lies, as exemplified by the false statements made by Comrade Kamala Harris during the rigged and highly partisan ABC Debate and all of the ridiculous lawsuits specifically designed to inflict damage on Joe’s, then Kamala’s political opponent, ME has taken politics in our Country to a whole new level of hatred, abuse and distrust. Because of the Communist Left rhetoric, the bullets are flying, and it will only get worse.”

Here are some comments by Democratic Presidential Candidate Kamala Harris.

“My values have not changed.”

“I checked in to see if he was OK. And I told him what I have said publicly: there is no place for political violence in our country.”

“This business about taking everyone’s guns away—Tim Walz and I are both gun owners. We’re not taking anybody’s guns away, so stop with the continuous lying about this stuff.”  

“America let us show each other—and the world—who we are. And what we stand for. Freedom. Opportunity. Compassion. Dignity. Fairness. And endless possibilities.” 

Recent scholarly papers on rhetoric claim that political rhetoric is dangerous to democracy because rather than focusing on reason, it prioritizes emotion and passion. Inflamed rhetoric can incite fear, hatred, and discrimination. Violence can occur. Innocent lives can be lost. These scholars emphasize the need for relevant factual information and expert authority. In short, the need to value substance over style.

Politics is a strange, often disturbing business. Emotions run high. People in the heat of arguments stop talking to family members, co-workers, and friends. The election is 41 days away. American voters still have time to cast aside the emotional frenzied appeals of fear, hatred, and division and instead research the facts, do their homework, delve deep into the platforms and policies of each candidate, and make an informed choice on who should be the next president of the United States.

Perhaps Nelson Mandela said it best: “May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”  

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of the federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, kayaking, and nature. 

There is so much I do not understand in this modern world. Why is this so? Is it aging? Is society going off the deep end? Am I just not embracing the latest trends? I’m not sure why I feel such a disconnect. Let me share a few examples.

I don’t understand why so many young people, especially those just beginning their careers, seek jobs that are totally remote. I get that it makes their lives easier and saves them time and money because they don’t have to commute. But the best times in a career—especially a young one–are interacting with colleagues; brainstorming creative ideas in conference rooms; being at client meetings and learning from others about subjects in which you are not well-versed; studying how more senior people expertly help clients buy-in to approaches or possible solutions to solve problems. Sitting in your home office and being on endless Zoom calls must be lonely, stifling, and somewhat limiting.

I don’t understand covering your entire body with tattoos. I understand getting a few tattoos that represent something or someone you care about. But lately I have been seeing more people with tattoos covering both arms, their necks, their chests, ankles, even parts of their faces. I stare at these tattoos and try to make sense of what motivated them to brand their skin with fairly permanent designs. Some tattoos I have seen recently include huge snakes, cartoon characters, hawks, and large numbers.

In a similar vein, I don’t understand nose rings—aren’t they uncomfortable? Nor do I understand why virtually every female broadcaster wears false eyelashes. It is 6 am in the morning. They are reporting the news and wearing false eyelashes. In times gone by, such lashes were reserved for evening galas or fancy soirees. No longer. I miss the days when women looked wholesome, professional, and well-dressed without always having to “glam” themselves up. 

I don’t understand why evangelicals, women, veterans, and parents of veterans support Donald Trump. He has committed every sin in the book, said countless demeaning and misogynistic comments about women, and clearly does not respect veterans—dead or alive. 

I don’t understand some Americans’ obsession with the second amendment—taking it to the nth degree. No one is trying to take away everyone’s guns. Many of us want to enact common sense gun laws. How many innocent children, teachers, bystanders, etc., have to die before we do something. I am starting to detest the NRA, gun lobbyists, and representatives and senators who refuse to pass common sense gun laws. My heart breaks for so many families who have suffered gun tragedies. ENOUGH ALREADY!

I don’t understand the horrible rhetoric spewed forth about immigrants these days. It’s mean-spirited, cruel, and unjust. Yes, it is wrong for immigrants to enter this country illegally. We as a country must take action to prevent such illegal crossings. But it is also wrong to malign people who came here legally and are the backbone of our country. This hateful speech is dangerous.

I don’t understand audiences laughing when politicians make cruel and crude statements about someone else’s appearance. We never used to be this way. As a country we are sinking to new depths when we call other people “pigs,” “unattractive,” “fat” and so many more insulting comments. 

I don’t understand the appeal of caviar, which I am the first to admit is because of my unsophisticated palate. Caviar has surfaced in several Easton restaurants lately—even in an ice cream shop. Many of my friends who are “foodies” adore it. But perhaps, given its” pricey” price tag, it may not be the worst thing to keep off my culinary adventure list.

I don’t understand the reading preferences of many young people. Often when I ask the younger generation (many in their 30’s and 40’s), what they are reading, they respond that they are reading fantasy and graphic novels. (They also watch a lot of animated movies.) There is nothing wrong with either of these pastimes, but I keep thinking about all the fabulous literature they probably will never get to. 

Given that there is so much of modern life I don’t understand, I researched some articles that give sound advice on how to do a better job living in the modern world. Here are some suggestions.

Simplify your life by removing what is unnecessary—in other words, declutter. 

Spend less than you earn. 

Do one thing at a time and be fully present. 

Stand up and walk around regularly. 

Be skeptical of chemicals that have been added to our environment. 

Take breaks from digital screens and reading the news. 

Explore parks and trails. Become a connoisseur of life’s free pleasures. 

Add beauty to your environment—flowers, candles, etc. 

Build a network of solid friendships—people who give you support, are interesting conversationalists, and add dimension and joy to your world. 

Focus more on building a true spiritual awakening. 

Do what you love. 

Remove bad influences. 

Be grateful.

 Find time to be creative.

About understanding, Maya Angelou once said, “Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.”    

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, kayaking, and nature.