What to Do When You Don’t Understand by Maria Grant

There is so much I do not understand in this modern world. Why is this so? Is it aging? Is society going off the deep end? Am I just not embracing the latest trends? I’m not sure why I feel such a disconnect. Let me share a few examples.

I don’t understand why so many young people, especially those just beginning their careers, seek jobs that are totally remote. I get that it makes their lives easier and saves them time and money because they don’t have to commute. But the best times in a career—especially a young one–are interacting with colleagues; brainstorming creative ideas in conference rooms; being at client meetings and learning from others about subjects in which you are not well-versed; studying how more senior people expertly help clients buy-in to approaches or possible solutions to solve problems. Sitting in your home office and being on endless Zoom calls must be lonely, stifling, and somewhat limiting.

I don’t understand covering your entire body with tattoos. I understand getting a few tattoos that represent something or someone you care about. But lately I have been seeing more people with tattoos covering both arms, their necks, their chests, ankles, even parts of their faces. I stare at these tattoos and try to make sense of what motivated them to brand their skin with fairly permanent designs. Some tattoos I have seen recently include huge snakes, cartoon characters, hawks, and large numbers.

In a similar vein, I don’t understand nose rings—aren’t they uncomfortable? Nor do I understand why virtually every female broadcaster wears false eyelashes. It is 6 am in the morning. They are reporting the news and wearing false eyelashes. In times gone by, such lashes were reserved for evening galas or fancy soirees. No longer. I miss the days when women looked wholesome, professional, and well-dressed without always having to “glam” themselves up. 

I don’t understand why evangelicals, women, veterans, and parents of veterans support Donald Trump. He has committed every sin in the book, said countless demeaning and misogynistic comments about women, and clearly does not respect veterans—dead or alive. 

I don’t understand some Americans’ obsession with the second amendment—taking it to the nth degree. No one is trying to take away everyone’s guns. Many of us want to enact common sense gun laws. How many innocent children, teachers, bystanders, etc., have to die before we do something. I am starting to detest the NRA, gun lobbyists, and representatives and senators who refuse to pass common sense gun laws. My heart breaks for so many families who have suffered gun tragedies. ENOUGH ALREADY!

I don’t understand the horrible rhetoric spewed forth about immigrants these days. It’s mean-spirited, cruel, and unjust. Yes, it is wrong for immigrants to enter this country illegally. We as a country must take action to prevent such illegal crossings. But it is also wrong to malign people who came here legally and are the backbone of our country. This hateful speech is dangerous.

I don’t understand audiences laughing when politicians make cruel and crude statements about someone else’s appearance. We never used to be this way. As a country we are sinking to new depths when we call other people “pigs,” “unattractive,” “fat” and so many more insulting comments. 

I don’t understand the appeal of caviar, which I am the first to admit is because of my unsophisticated palate. Caviar has surfaced in several Easton restaurants lately—even in an ice cream shop. Many of my friends who are “foodies” adore it. But perhaps, given its” pricey” price tag, it may not be the worst thing to keep off my culinary adventure list.

I don’t understand the reading preferences of many young people. Often when I ask the younger generation (many in their 30’s and 40’s), what they are reading, they respond that they are reading fantasy and graphic novels. (They also watch a lot of animated movies.) There is nothing wrong with either of these pastimes, but I keep thinking about all the fabulous literature they probably will never get to. 

Given that there is so much of modern life I don’t understand, I researched some articles that give sound advice on how to do a better job living in the modern world. Here are some suggestions.

Simplify your life by removing what is unnecessary—in other words, declutter. 

Spend less than you earn. 

Do one thing at a time and be fully present. 

Stand up and walk around regularly. 

Be skeptical of chemicals that have been added to our environment. 

Take breaks from digital screens and reading the news. 

Explore parks and trails. Become a connoisseur of life’s free pleasures. 

Add beauty to your environment—flowers, candles, etc. 

Build a network of solid friendships—people who give you support, are interesting conversationalists, and add dimension and joy to your world. 

Focus more on building a true spiritual awakening. 

Do what you love. 

Remove bad influences. 

Be grateful.

 Find time to be creative.

About understanding, Maya Angelou once said, “Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.”    

Maria Grant was principal-in-charge of an international consulting firm. While on the Eastern Shore, she focuses on writing, reading, piano, kayaking, and nature.