I am troubled by today’s pervasive entitlement mentality. Students who have college loans feel they are entitled to debt-free carte-blanche forgiveness without paying them off. Sexual harassers who hold powerful positions feel they are entitled to take what they want—simply because they are who they are. Children who have famous parents often exploit their privileged lives because they feel entitled to commit egregious and sometimes illegal acts as though it is their birthright.
Feeling entitled can lead to dangerous consequences. Let’s consider a few examples.
Often people who come from humble beginnings attend expensive private colleges and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars of college debt. Should they be allowed to attend those universities? Of course. But should they also consider the ramifications of paying off that debt and factor in the cost-benefit analysis of private versus public universities with much lower costs? If you buy an expensive house, you must realize that it will result in a huge mortgage. Someone else isn’t going to pay it off unless perhaps a wealthy uncle dies and leaves you a pile of cash. Sure, one can argue that colleges and houses cost too much. Both statements may be true. Still, if you take out a loan, you should expect to pay it back.
Now let’s take the example of powerful men and women who feel entitled to exploit their positions simply because of who they are. I’ve read more articles than I care to admit about Andrew Cuomo in the last few weeks. Clearly, he felt entitled to harass women and bully employees. He assumed he would continue to get away with it because he had for years. He also had enablers who helped discredit his accusers and made their lives a living hell. (I found it particularly rich when Trump declared Cuomo should resign given his own sordid past.)
During the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings, I had the sense that Kavanaugh felt he was entitled to be a Supreme Court justice. He didn’t feel that incidents which showed questionable judgment and poor character in his past should be examined. Yet one could certainly argue that his temperament and outrage during the hearings didn’t exemplify the steady, measured, thoughtful and unwavering qualities worthy of a Supreme Court justice.
Lately, my friends have been telling me how frustrating it is to work with employees with newly minted college degrees. They claim many of them have a sense of entitlement that is difficult for them to fathom. Demanding better wages, work-life balance, benefits, etc. is not necessarily a bad thing. But assuming they should get promoted within a matter of months; that they should be given highly strategic work before they have even learned the ropes, is something else.
Many psychologists, therapists, and student counselors believe that part of the reason young people feel so entitled is because their parents never said no to their demands. As a result, they feel entitled to have whatever they want without earning it. I don’t think it’s quite that simple, but there is a grain of truth here.
They also say that people who have powerful positions for long periods of time often feel a sense of entitlement to do whatever they please—treat people shabbily or take advantage of them because of some misguided sense of almighty power.
So, what is to be done about this entitlement culture? Experts say the solution involves two things: gratitude and accountability.
We need to help children and new employees, be grateful for what they have. Instead of always wanting more, gently remind them of their good fortune and encourage them to share that bounty when they can.
The second concept is holding people accountable for their actions. If employees don’t meet their goals or perform tasks at a competent level, they shouldn’t expect bonuses or promotions automatically until they have mastered the competencies required for current positions. We must also hold our leaders accountable for their actions. As many have said in recent days, democracy and freedom only work when we do.
As with all things, there are degrees here. Gratitude and accountability are not learned overnight. One minor mistake should not a cancel culture make.
Fighting to make America as great as it can be—fighting for racial and gender equality, better bridges, roads, healthcare, clean water, the environment is a good thing. We are entitled to expect the best from our leaders and ourselves. But we must vote, and we must understand that there is a price to pay for these services that “lift all boats”. And we must hold our leaders and ourselves accountable for doing our best to protect and preserve our democracy and the planet.
Douglas MacArthur said, “No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.” Holding ourselves accountable to protect and preserve our freedom with a deep sense of gratitude for the privilege of doing so is quite the opposite of entitlement.
Maria Grant was the principal-in-charge of the Federal human capital practice of an international consulting firm. Today she focuses on writing, reading, piano, travel, gardening and nature.
Holly Geddes says
Mr. Biden has some a real problems. If you doubt me, answer this question. How many Covid cases have come across our supposedly “closed border” in Texas or the other border states? Who will pay for their medical care, housing, etc.? How many will be infected with this virus as a result of the thousands of immigrants who are being shipped out to various locations across this country? Which locations are these and who might suffer from this infection as a result?
NPR reports that in excess of 1,000 crossed the border per day in June. Border agents caught over 212,000 in the month of July. In the last two weeks, the City of Laredo has sued the Biden Administration and Hidalgo County has declared a local disaster. These actions are intended to get federal officials to stop releasing immigrants into their communities because all the shelters are saturated. But they do it anyway.
A refugee may come into the US, but not if they have an illness like Covid. The problem is that there are too many to be able to test for anything. The safe thing to do is what has been historically done at Ellis Island. However, the testing site in McAllen got 1900 persons to test a few days ago and they only have room for a bit over 1200. Further, the immigrants are being asked to self-quarantine for a total of 2 days. American citizens have to quarantine for 10 days at a minimum. Why are the rules so different? Because the Biden administration says so.
In the mean time, closer to home, what does the science say? We can forgo masks if we have a vaccine, but have to wear one anyhow because we can / can’t transmit this pesky virus? Schools can open and children don’t have to wear masks or stay at their desks except when the teacher’s unions write the CDC directives even when the data shows that children under 12 are less likely to get or transmit the illness and seldom if ever die from just Covid? (Children who die with Covid all most always have underlying conditions like leukemia.)
The statements about this virus are contradicted by the Biden administration on a daily basis. There are other items on a list for which the Biden administration should be held accountable. Excessive spending and bad business policies with the resulting inflation and rises in prices is one of the big ones.
However, the Biden administration and progressive fear mongers don’t have a plan. They just have scare tactics. And the mainstream press is simply their propaganda machine. They should be held accountable, too.
Stephen Schaare says
Dear Holly, Three pointer from “downtown”. Wow. Where have you been? I have been so alone with my common sense. Welcome.
Shhhh… We must not speak of such things. Steve
Holly Geddes says
You are a hoot.
We common sense folks meet next to the Farmers’s Market on Saturday morning, 9am to noon. We are on the sidewalk in front of Riverside Unique. Bring a cup of coffee and visit us any Saturday. We love common sense folks. We have limited seating, so bring a folding chair if you want to be guaranteed a seat. We can provide reading material as well as a comfortable conversation.
Holly Geddes says
We who are common sense people are many. We meet next to the Farmers Market on the lower part of High Street on Saturday mornings to chat and have coffee. All are welcome. If you want a seat, might I suggest you bring a folding chair. We meet the nicest people and learn about a bunch of stuff. Again, all are welcome. Hope to shake your hand someday.
Maria Wood says
Comparing outrageous student loan debt to sexual harassment is… something else.