Editorial: Harry and Louise Are Looking For a Small Town

Imagine for a moment that the Chestertown Spy, with all its extraordinary wiretapping capacity, was able to overhear a conversation with America’s favorite hard working professional couple, Harry and Louise, who had almost single-handedly killed the Clinton Healthcare plan with their kitchen table ads in 1994.

Why are we interested in Harry and Louise? Because in many ways this Washington, DC-based couple, represents the demographic sweet spot for Chestertown’s tourism and real estate market. Since those ads ran in 1994, Harry and Louise now have a very high level of expendable income, second home or retirement house aspirations, and professional backgrounds that will lead to countless volunteer leadership roles. They like to shop local, particularly for things like art and crafts, and they also understand the importance of community philanthropy. While Chestertown would love all sorts of diversity, including young families and more multiculturalism, for the wheels of our commerce to turn the town needs the Harry and Louise couples of the world.

Rather than mounting bills and tuition fees for their children in the 1990s, things have gotten a lot better for both of them in the last twenty years. The kids are now finally out of college; their mortgage has been paid off on their highly appreciated property just off Wisconsin Avenue they bought in 1990; and they have two semi-luxury cars to commute to their white-collar jobs where they are paid at the highest level of their pay scale. While they would never say they were “rich,” the days of worrying about health care bills are over, and both are more than willing to pay for “the good things in life” as they reach the end of their middle age years.

Harry and Louise have decided that until they retire they will treat themselves to weekend getaways once a month in the Maryland or Virginia countryside. Louise wants to check out second home possibilities, and Harry is eager to tour around on his bike.

The Spy starts to record the conversation after their second glass of wine last Wednesday night:

Louise: So, its time to decide which towns to look at on this big adventure of ours.

Harry: I thought you were going to decide.

L: No, it needs to be a mutual decision Harry, but because I’m a good person, I’ve done some homework.

H: Ok, well, thanks for that, but let’s determine a baseline for this conversation. Number one, there is no way in hell I’m going to fight traffic on Friday afternoons to stay in a bed and breakfast where the host won’t leave us alone. And number two, I demand two good places — scratch that — two great places to eat in town. No driving for a half an hour or more for a place that really cares about food.  These, my dear wife, are my simple and non negotiable terms going forward.

L:  Fair enough. And for me, I expect a college or great museum of some sort. I refuse to have my brain turn to mush if we settle down permanently in one of these places, not matter how lovely the topography.

H: Agreed. So what did you find out?

L: The good news is that I found nine towns that sound interesting enough to check out. I think its best if we get this down to four or five, and then come back to each place at least twice, or even three times, over the next few years before we agree to buy something.

H: Sounds good.

L:  So our criteria should be: rural towns of less than 10,000 which are located less than two hours from our front door. There needs to be a college/museum nearby and decent food options, both for eating in and out.

H: Ok, let me stop you right there. To be clear, I’m not interested in “decent” food options.  I want “great” food options.

L: Harry, you’re getting a tad overheated on this point. It’s highly subjective what “great” means.

H: Louise, we’ve been married forty years,  you know what I mean.  Things like waiters who are real waiters; a chef that has a decent amount of ambition; a menu that changes weekly; and a wine list which was really been thought out.  That, my dear, is not too much to ask for.  We can compromise on other things, but I want great food, places to get excited about going to repeatedly. And just to make the point again, no bed and breakfasts or Hampton Inns. I’m just too old for that kind of stuff.

L: Harry, you’ve made your point. Actually,  you’ll be surprised how little you’ll need to compromise. I’m amazed at what these little towns offer these days. So anyway, I prepared a spreadsheet. Lets took at this together. And keep in mind that every one of these small towns has tons of stuff to do, and spectacular landscapes, so I just focused on your needs, my dear husband, on lodging and two nights worth of fine dining.

Louise pulls out her iPad and calls up her research.

 

 

 

 

 

H: Well, it seems we can take at least one off the list right off the bat.

L: That was my thought. Too bad, I had heard some great things about Chestertown. Don’t you want to at least check it out?

H: Not enough time. I think we’d be better focusing on the places that come closer to what we need.

L: Ok, It’s time to set the table.