I was hustling through the grocery store the other day, picking up last minute essentials for dinner, when something new caught my eye in the cracker aisle: Old Bay Seasoned Goldfish. Holy smokes! This was a news-worthy discovery. And they were Limited Edition Old Bay Seasoned Goldfish Crackers, which might might be bigger news than “The Crab Chip” Utz potato chips with Chesapeake Bay Crab Seasoning (although my all time favorite remains Utz Sour Cream & Onion potato chips).

As you no doubt know from personal experience, Old Bay seasoning enhances everything it touches: crabs, French fries, corn on the cob, deviled eggs, Bloody Marys, hot chocolate, vanilla ice cream, chicken, pizza, popcorn – all of the major food groups. I imagine there are folks who have concocted their own homemade Old Bay-seasoned Goldfish. Which is probably a good thing, since the store-bought, Limited Edition Old Bay Seasoned Goldfish sold out in hours. The next time I went to the grocery store that shelf was empty. Wiped out. Ignored Cheddar-flavored Goldfish bags sat forlornly. Pizza-flavored Goldfish are passé. I hope I remember to swap out the Lawry’s Seasoning Salt and use Old Bay in my Chex Mix next Christmas.

Now that I have done a little snack research I find that I missed last year’s smash Goldfish hit: Goldfish Frank’s RedHot Crackers. What was I thinking? Why wasn’t I paying attention? This Old Bay Seasoning on Goldfish is such brilliant idea that the news has been covered not only in Food & Wine Magazine: https://www.foodandwine.com/news/old-bay-goldish-crackers but in the hard hitting, take no prisoners Washington Post, too: https://www.washingtonpost.com/history/2022/05/17/old-bay-goldfish-baltimore-history/

The price of these Goldfish has soared! Normally I can get two bags of common, garden variety Cheddar Goldfish for $4. One 6.6 ounce bag of Limited Edition Old Bay Seasoned Goldfish Crackers on Amazon will run you $9.16, as of Thursday morning, May 26. https://www.amazon.com/Goldfish-Crackers-Limited-Seasoned-Snack/dp/B09SVT866G?

The folks at McCormick have Old Bay recipes for everyone: https://www.mccormick.com/old-bay/products/seasonings-and-sauces/old-bay-seasoning They will even answer your questions: “Hi Mac. You can use 4 1/2 to 5 cups of Old Bay Seasoning for 40 quarts of water.” Of course they even have an Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cdd6JBNpGri/

For your own homemade Old Bay-seasoned Goldfish, here is one recipe: http://www.cookingismessy.com/2017/12/23/old-bay-goldfish-crackers/

Now that I have merrily fallen down the Old Bay rabbit hole, and sent you on a wild goose chase to the grocery store, let’s not forget that this is Memorial Day Weekend. Once you have whipped up a batch of homemade Old Bay-seasoned something snack, because for love or money you won’t be able to find the Limited Edition, you’ll need to get down to the matter of the beginning of the summer season. We are sticking close to home, Covid not having truly departed, so we will be flipping burgers on the back porch, and watching the fireflies dance. Heat up the charcoal briquets, enjoy your crab feast, fry up a batch of chicken, spike a cold watermelon, melt a batch of s’mores, enjoy the Chestertown Tea Party, wave your flags at the parades, and remember the brave souls who gave their all.

“O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells; / Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills.”
-Walt Whitman

Last weekend we were preparing a festive Saturday dinner, just for the two of us, and Luke the wonder dog, who is forever hopeful. Weather-wise, it was finally warm enough to sit outside at the little bistro table on the back porch. It was breezy, with plenty of bluebird comings and goings to keep our conversation lively. We had a modest bottle of grocery store red wine and a few fluttering candles. There were grilled beef filets, asparagus, and a baked potato to split. I tore open a bag of greens and made a lively, tangy vinaigrette. But I had almost completely forgotten about dessert. Which would have been very sad. Luckily, a quick dive into the internets saved the night.

I hate recipe writers who promise that you can make their clever dishes with ingredients that you have on hand. As if we all live with well-stocked, gourmet-level larders at every moment. They’ll presume that you will have fresh shrimp, or expensive whole vanilla beans, or a bag of semolina flour in the pantry.  And unlike Dorie Greenspan, I do not have a basement, nor a freezer in the basement, full of high fat content butter. I actually had all of these cake ingredients, but I do bake a chocolate biscotti recipe every few weeks, so I have a ready stash of unsweetened cocoa powder. Go out and get a tin of cocoa powder to have for chocolate cake emergencies. One day you will thank me.

There is always a reason to bake a cake – like a nicer-than-usual Saturday night dinner, when it feels like spring has finally sprung, and you’d like to celebrate, just a little bit. COVID was hard for all of us, and it’s still not over, so we aren’t splurging with a dinner out, but something on the back porch, with dessert, for the novelty, seems fitting. This cake was quick and simple, and just enough for the two of us, unlike the lemon cheesecake that I baked for Easter, which served 12. We are still enjoying slim slices of this cake, here on Thursday.

This is a recipe for a simple single-layer chocolate cake, that doesn’t even need butter or eggs. It is amazing. You can gussie it up with ganache, like we did, or dust it with a sprinkling of confectioner’s sugar, or a scoop of ice cream, or a handful of strawberries. I added a tablespoon of espresso coffee just to make the chocolate taste more dense, but you don’t have to. It’s your blank slate. Go forth and enjoy.

As always, our clever friends at Food52 bailed me out.

Margaret Fox’s Amazon Chocolate Cake

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
5 tablespoons neutral oil (like corn, canola, or vegetable)
1 cup cold water
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 tablespoon cider or white vinegar

Heat the oven to 350° F.

Mix together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, sugar, and salt. Sift. In a separate bowl, whisk together the water, oil, vanilla, and vinegar.

Whisk together the wet and dry mixtures. If lumpy, whisk until smooth, or pour through strainer in to a bowl and break up lumps, pressing them through.

Mix again, and pour into a greased 9-inch round cake pan. Tap the edge of the pan against the edge of the counter, or drop from 6 inches to the floor several times to pop air bubbles. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the top springs back when pressed gently. 
Cool before removing from the pan and dusting with confectioners’ sugar, or frosting if desired.

https://food52.com/recipes/24484-margaret-fox-s-amazon-chocolate-cake

My favorite part was dropping the pan onto the counter to let the air bubbles out. That was fun.

This is my standard ganache that I use on flourless chocolate cakes and Boston Cream Pies:

3 ounces bittersweet chocolate
 (chocolate chips in a pinch)
3 tablespoons butter, softened
1 tablespoon brandy or bourbon or whatever you have in your desk drawer for emergencies

Melt the chocolate and butter together, slowly, in a saucepan, stirring until smooth. Add the generous dollop of bourbon and stir some more. Now pour the glaze over the cake. You will have a beautiful, shiny, super-rich, super-deelish chocolate cake, fit for a beautiful Saturday night.
The fireflies have emerged, so we are well on our way to summer and more back porch fine dining. Like Luke, I am ever hopeful.

“Let’s face it, a nice creamy chocolate cake does a lot for a lot of people; it does for me.”
— Audrey Hepburn

Thank goodness this is the new golden age of television. We have an assortment of goodies to watch as we sidle cautiously into the post-COVID world from our cozy little winter cocoons. While Mr. Sanders like to gobble up the epics with dragons and swordplay, I’m happier helping to win World War II with the plucky Brits. Together we compromise on a few food shows.

Stanley Tucci’s Searching for Italy, on CNN is perfect for these armchair travelers. We get to drive through Italy with him, trying the local fare, gazing at impossibly beautiful landscapes, and virtually tasting Italian foods. Last week it was finanziera, an ancient Piedmont stew. It was made with the veal brain, kidneys, testicles and the middle of the spine. The other moments of the show, spent savoring local cheeses and risotto, outweigh those incidents of unimaginable horror. Tucci is a charming fellow, who gamely and cheerfully eats anything and everything, never gaining an ounce. He waxes ecstatic about every local delight that is presented to him. “Wow. I was afraid of the testicles, but I’m not now,” Tucci said. “They’re absolutely delicious.” Of course. Luckily, there is wine.

A quasi-fictional Julia Child is equally as game, in Julia. Julia brought good food to 1960s Boston and, eventually, all of America. She storms rarefied WGBH television with her revolutionary cooking program, charming the reluctant, converting the uninitiated, bending the aesthete will of public broadcasting with fresh herbs, simple ingredients, and continental techniques. She also introduces wine and feminism. Sarah Lancashire who plays Julia Child with joie de vivre, and some pathos, is a woman of a certain age who has finally found her métier and passion. Her loving husband, Paul Child, played by David Hyde Pierce (played also by Stanley Tucci in Julie and Julia, the 2009 film directed by Nora Ephron) is another complicated creative, but he’s more of a dilettante than the dedicated, professional Julia. All will hail Julia, eventually. Here is a sneak peek: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KK-UEwy-VE

The other end of the streaming spectrum is Is It Cake? On Netflix. Heavens to Betsy. I had listened to an NPR review of this show, and although they found it fluffy and silly, they thought one episode was just about enough fondant for anyone. They did not reckon with a 7-year-old with an iron will, and the only person in the house who knew how to operate the TV remote control. For 3 nights last week we were glued to a sofa, watching episodes of a competition where professionals had to bake cakes that looked just like sneakers, sand buckets or handbags. The cakes had to be indistinguishable from the real things, and they had to be delicious. The veal testicles started to become a viable option to me. And after Julia’s savory Chocolate Soufflé and whipped cream, I didn’t want to know how sweet the double fudge peanut butter elderflower fondant Hermes Kelly handbag cake would taste. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Is_It_Cake%3F

That said, watch Julia, watch Stanley Tucci in Searching for Italy. Protect your aching fillings and your sense of propriety, and avoid Is it Cake? Unless your 7-year-old controls the remote. And try some delicious of this fettuccine.

I have been making fettuccine the same way for years. I boil a pot of water for the pasta. While the pasta is cooking I swirl garlic around in a non-stick pan, in a little oil, just until it is fragrant. Then I take the garlic out, and add a cup or so of half and half cream. Add a pinch of freshly ground nutmeg, a pinch of cayenne, and stir the cream for a few minutes as it reduces. Grate a cup or so of good Parmesan cheese. Drain the pasta – reserving a cup of the pasta water, just in case. Add the pasta to the pan of hot cream, with a handful of cheese, and stir again. Everything should get nice and thick and creamy. Add a little more cheese. If the mixture thickens too much, add a little of the reserved water. Scoop the pasta onto warm dinner plates, tossing on a little more cheese, a scattering of parsley for contrast and interest. Serve with bread and good butter, a green salad, and yes, Julia and Stanley, some wine.

I tried a game changer this week, though. This fettuccine Alfredo is from the Elaine’s in New York, and was supposed to be one of Jackie O’s faves.

Elaine’s Fettuccine Alfredo

Salt
2 tablespoons butter
1 small clove garlic, finely chopped
1 ½ cups heavy cream
1 large egg yolk
1 pound fresh fettuccine
1 cup freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese
Freshly ground pepper to taste

Bring 6 quarts generously salted water to a boil.

While the water heats, melt the butter in a large, deep skillet over medium-high heat. Add garlic; saute until fragrant and sizzling, about 2 minutes. Whisk the cream with the egg yolk in a bowl until blended; pour into the garlic butter. Reduce heat to medium-low; stir until hot but not boiling. Keep warm over low heat.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta, partially covered, until al dente. (The pasta will float when it’s done.) Drain in a colander, shaking out excess water, but reserve a little cooking water. Pour hot pasta into the cream mixture and toss to coat (still over low heat). Add the cheese and keep tossing gently until cream is mostly absorbed. Season with salt and pepper. If sauce is absorbed too much, toss with a little pasta water. Serve in warm bowls. https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/9025-elaines-fettuccine-alfredo?

The egg yolk made a huge difference to the creaminess of the mixture. I am going to add egg to my old fave recipe, but continue to add the nutmeg and cayenne. We like that little kick.

Good luck with your own offal and beef bourguignon and Hermès handbags.

“A party without cake is really just a meeting.”
– Julia Child

This is a repeat of an older column – I am taking a little holiday. Enjoy!

It’s not too late to start planning a little Mother’s Day gesture. But you had best hurry up. I would advise you to put a little thought into it, though. I had an email this morning suggesting that a trip to Jersey Mike’s Subs would be a good idea; “Treat Mom to a Sub!” Perhaps not. I like a good cheesesteak as much as the next mother, and this is definitely a first world problem, but I’d like something homemade. It doesn’t have to be fancy, or well-crafted (and believe me, I have a drawer of summer camp ashtrays, plaster handprints, and dollar store jewels). Maybe this Mother’s Day I could get first pick of sections of the Sunday New York Times, some sweet and crunchy French bread, and some bacon.

I love bacon. I don’t like cleaning it up. Bacon is one of those foods that tastes better when someone else has cooked it. And then poured the bacon grease into a can, cleaned up the splatters, washed out the pan, and has tossed the dish cloth into the laundry, where more elves will take over. Such a life of fantasy I enjoy!

In real life, I tried this glazed bacon recipe from the New York Times last weekend as part of my exhaustive food research for The Spy. We also had French toast. It was divine. Be sure to get thick bacon – otherwise, why bother?

Glazed Bacon https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1016900-glazed-bacon
1/2 pound thick-cut bacon slices (about 6 slices)
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons red wine

PREPARATION
Heat oven to 350º F. Line a baking pan with foil; it should be large enough to hold the bacon in a single layer. Place bacon in pan and bake until lightly browned and crisp, 15 to 20 minutes. While bacon cooks, mix remaining ingredients together.
Drain bacon fat from pan. Brush the bacon strips on both sides with the brown sugar mixture. Return bacon to the oven and cook another 10 minutes or so, until glaze is bubbling and darkened.
Remove bacon from the oven and transfer to a cutting board or platter lined with foil or parchment paper. Let cool about 15 minutes. Bacon should not be sticky to the touch. Cut each strip in thirds and arrange on a serving dish.

I did not cut up the bacon – I divided it evenly between Mr. Sanders and myself. With no apologies to Luke the wonder dog, who went without.

This is my standard recipe (practically foolproof) that I pull out for every occasion that calls for French toast: houseguests, Easter, vacation, first day of spring, Sundays, and even birthdays. It was featured once on Food52, although they did not use my illustration, which still makes me a little huffy.

We always have day-old French bread (in fact we have a collection of French bread in the freezer – we will never starve) and it always seems a sin and a shame to pitch it, so this is a delightful and economical way to be frugal consumers. And Mr. Sanders loves the added kick of the rum on an otherwise uneventful Sunday morning.

Serves: 4
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 5 minutes

Ingredients:
1 cup milk (or half and half)
1 pinch of salt
3 brown eggs (any will do, actually – brown are prettier)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg – grate it fresh – do NOT use dried out old dust in a jar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 generous dollop of rum
1 tablespoon brown sugar
8 1/2-inch slices of day-old French bread

Whisk milk, salt, eggs, cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla extract, rum and sugar until smooth. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium heat. Soak bread slices in mixture until super-saturated. Cook bread on each side for a couple of minutes, until golden brown. Serve with warm maple syrup and powdered sugar. If you add some strawberries and whipped cream it will remind you of the Belgian Waffles from the World’s Fair in the 60s. Childhood bliss!
https://food52.com/recipes/4622-weekend-french-toast

Your mother will thank you for this breakfast, especially if you remember to use cloth napkins, and if you wash up afterward. Then leave her alone to wander over to her Adirondack chair on the back porch, so she can read The Palace Papers, all by herself.
Happy Mother’s Day!

“No one can be independent of other people completely, so why not give up the attempt, she thought, go running in the other direction, depend on people for everything, allow them to depend on you, why not.”
― Sally Rooney

It’s a little early for Eastern Shore strawberry picking, but that doesn’t mean we can’t circle important dates on our calendars. St. Luke’s 31st Annual Strawberry Festival takes place on June 4, and what a sweet and glorious time it will be. I’m going to put a couple of strawberry plants into the container garden this weekend – there is more to life than basil plants.

I am going to practice my strawberry skills on some berries from the grocery store, which are never as good as local berries, but the weather is so spring-y that I feel like we need a treat. This is when I am practicing discipline while I try to ignore the wailing siren song from the fridge – the leftover kabillion calorie lemon cheesecake I baked for Easter. Whatever was I thinking, baking a cheesecake that serves 12, for 2 people?

Strawberries are sweet enough, but they are always enhanced with a little cream and a pinch of sugar. A handful of sliced strawberries scattered over your morning bowl of muesli is the easiest treat; sticks and bark never tasted better. I like strawberries, homemade granola and some vanilla yogurt as a morning pick-me-up. After dinner, sitting on the back porch, neglecting the evening news, is perfect time for strawberries on a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

I waste an enormous amount of each strawberry that I cut, and I bet you do, too. I lop off the end with sharp knife, flying headlong into imaginary conflict with my family line of maternal cooks. My mother would be ashamed at the food I toss out, and her mother would be amazed at all the food options we enjoy in the twenty-first century. Imagine her reaction to boneless chicken breasts, kept in the freezer, compared to the chickens she kept in her back yard.

I am the product of Depression-era children. I try to waste not, recycle, and compost; fine habits which our parents strove to impress upon us. I guess I am inherently lazy, as are most people. There is a glass strawberry jam jar soaking in the kitchen sink as I type this. I want to clean the jar thoroughly enough to go in the recycling bin, and then I am hoping it actually gets recycled and not added to some stinking landfill. My mother would have bought a brand of jam that came in a jar suitable for recycling as a drinking glass. My grandmother would have put up that jam herself, and would have re-used the jam jar as she got ready for the June strawberry jam session. I suppose the least I can do is to prepare my strawberries a little more prudently. I think we will do fine with a sharp knife, and a whiff of nostalgia, remembering our mothers and grandmothers as we get ready for summer to whip around the corner.

Try these easy, no-fuss recipes:
Eton Mess: https://preppykitchen.com/eton-mess/

Strawberry cobbler: https://divascancook.com/fresh-strawberry-cobbler-recipe-easy-dessert/

You don’t have to restrict your strawberries to dessert. Strawberries will go nicely with my container garden basil: https://www.loveandlemons.com/strawberry-salad/

Imagine opening your bento box, expecting the same old tuna sandwich, but instead you have a surprise strawberry and cream cheese sandwich! Deelightful!
https://www.eatingwell.com/recipe/249521/strawberry-cream-cheese-sandwich/

Or you can be even fussier with this strawberry tea sandwich: https://www.southernladymagazine.com/strawberry-tea-sandwiches-recipe/

I hope your basil plants are thriving. Once strawberry season starts they will become a necessity: https://www.wholesomelicious.com/strawberry-basil-chicken/

If we ever have another cocktail party, in the post-COVID world of our wildest dreams, I’d like to serve these: https://thehealthyepicurean.com/strawberry-basil-bruschetta/

Now, stand up. Turn off your device. Go outside and do some weeding. There is enormous satisfaction in amassing a pile of weeds. And once you have tired of this never-ending task, you can treat yourself to a little bowl of fresh strawberries, that you can eat with your weed-grubby little fingers, because you have earned this exquisite treat. Breathe in some springtime.

“Strawberries are like tomatoes for me; I just won’t eat them year round. I’ll happily wait for them to come into season, then I gorge like a brown bear eating salmon before hibernation.”
-Brad Leone

St. Luke’s United Methodist’s 31st Annual Strawberry Festival, Craft Show and Book Sale at St. Luke’s Church, 304 Talbot Street, St. Michaels, Saturday, June 4th, from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Free admission.

What a busy spring weekend we are going to have! Passover seders, Easter egg hunts, and farmers’ markets reopening. What a good time to get out of the house, while still being mindful of social distancing, please, and shake off the winter cobwebs. I can’t wait to eye the beautiful displays of vegetables and fruit, because this year I have realized that I am a very haphazard gardener. It’s time to come to grips and admit that I can only handle the decorative, and cannot be relied upon to provide actual nutrition: Daffodils, yes. Zucchini, no.

A few weeks ago I bought a couple of broccolini plants, because Mr. Sanders has taken to grilling store-bought broccolini on the weekends. It probably would have been sensible to do a little research before I made that impulse purchase; the small plants looked adorable and were irresistible. Now, they grown leggy, have tall, stalk-y bits covered with yellow flowers. I think I have let them go to seed already. There went $8 that I will never see again. I probably will be able to buy lots of locally grown broccolini later this season, from someone who knows what they are doing.

Every year I wander through the garden shops and envision beautiful tomato plants growing in the raised bed in our back yard, burgeoning with warm and aromatic crimson orbs, soon to be sliced on tomato sandwiches, or incorporated into fragrant and garlic-y tomato sauces. The grim reality is that I get busy, or indifferent to the weather, or have moved onto another project – look at those Adirondack chairs! They need a good coat of paint! There’s another weekend flown by. Consequently, I have never had a decent crop of tomatoes. Oh, last year I posted Instagram pics of the first tomato in mid-April, just to needle my friends in New England who were still shoveling snow, but the friends might not have noticed that I never posted another garden win for the rest of the growing season. (In reality they had probably stopped following me because they were fed up with my smug, petty humblebrags.) Later in the season, when I finally wrested a couple of wizened $25 tomatoes away from the birds and the nematodes, I did not whip out the iPhone to capture the moment. I am the unreliable narrator of my garden stories.

This year I am coming clean. I have planted a row of garlic, just as a personal science fair experiment. Otherwise, the entire raised bed is seeded with sunflowers and zinnias. A garden bed of sunflowers for Ukraine is my ambition this year. (My Instagram is https://www.instagram.com/jeanbeans/ if you want to see the first sunflower seedling, btw.)

In a small collection of containers by the back porch I have planted the aforementioned broccolini, some overpriced lettuces from the garden center, so I can sail down the back steps a couple of times to snip salad for dinner, and two mint plants so we will be ready for the Kentucky Derby. And there are there three humble basil plants, because we are a respectable middle-class family, and realize how wonderful fresh basil smells and tastes. But that’s it, the sum total of the 2022 garden. No tomatoes. No beans. No peppers. No zucchini. No lofty aspirations, or brag-worthy, IG-influencing state fair fruit or vegetables. We are going to be honest, responsible consumers, eager patrons of our farmers’ market, bringing our own public television tote bags, and buying organic. I hope to see you there.

Cambridge Farmers Market
May – October – Thursdays, 3:00 PM – 6:00 PM
Farmers’ Market at Long Wharf
https://downtowncambridge.org/farmers-market/

Chestertown Farmers’ Market
Saturdays, 8:00 AM to Noon
High & Cross Streets & Fountain Park
https://www.chestertownfarmersmarket.org

St. Michaels Farmers’ Market
Saturdays, 8:30 AM-11:30 AM
206 S. Talbot St., St. Michaels, MD, 21663
https://stmichaelsfarmersmarket.org

Easton Farm Market
Saturdays, April 16 – December 17, 8:00 AM-1:00 PM, Rain or Shine
100 Block of North Harrison Street, in the municipal parking lot
https://avalonfoundation.org/easton-farmers-market

Kent Island Farmers’ Market
Thursdays, 3:30 PM-6:30 PM, year round
Cult Classic Brewery, 1169 Shopping Center Rd. in Stevensville
https://www.kentislandfarmersmarket.net/

“And what a wonderful relief, every so often, to know who the enemy is.
Because in the garden, the enemy is everything: the aphids, the weather, time.
And so you pour yourself into it, care so much, and see up close so much birth, and growth, and beauty, and danger, and triumph.
And then everything dies anyway, right?
But you just keep doing it.”
― Anne Lamott

April is a three-ring circus of celebrations: Passover and Easter, Queen Elizabeth’s 96th birthday, and National Garlic Month. The Queen won’t be celebrating garlic at her upcoming Platinum Jubilee, though. She doesn’t like it. It is up to us, mere peasants, to enjoy this springtime bounty. I am happy to step unto the breach. https://www.finegardening.com/article/celebrate-national-garlic-month

Garlic has long been regarded as peasant food because it is cheap, easy to grow, and adds flavor to other modest ingredients. Garlic dresses up a simple salad, a humble roast chicken, and is vital to the success of spicy pasta sauces.

Alice Waters, queen of fresh and local foods, dresses her mesclun salad with a garlic vinaigrette that is easy and deelish: https://nymag.com/restaurants/recipes/inseason/65106/

James Beard famously cooked a 40-clove chicken. https://www.jamesbeard.org/recipes/chicken-with-40-cloves-of-garlic

When Mr. Sanders is away, this is my default indulgent dinner, pasta with butter and garlic: https://food52.com/recipes/84628-garlic-butter-sauce-for-pasta-recipe

When Mr. Sanders is cooking, he opts for a day-long, multi-step, many-cans-of-tomatoes pasta sauce. I tend to wax poetical (and often) about his sauce: https://chestertownspy.org/2013/06/14/food-friday-the-luxury-of-homemade-spaghetti-sauce/ And another time: https://chestertownspy.org/2022/01/14/food-friday-spaghetti-sauce-by-the-bucket/

But, if you aren’t up for a day in the kitchen, let’s simplify. It’s the perfect time for grilling asparagus! https://tastecooking.com/recipes/grilled-asparagus-miso-butter/ And Rachel Ray has dozens of garlic ideas for a riotous month of garlic celebration: https://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/recipes-for-national-garlic-month

I buy fresh garlic cloves, but keep garlic powder in the spice drawer to add a little delishishness wherever I can. I always sprinkle some on freshly fried croutons. I keep a plastic squeeze bottle filled with garlic cloves and olive oil to squeeze onto pizza dough, or in a frying pan. There is a subtler air to garlic aromas when using garlic-infused oil. Nothing smells better, though, than rounding a corner in our little house and walking through a wall of garlic. Yumsters.

I have never bought a jar of pre-peeled garlic, or a jar of prepared crushed garlic, so I can’t say how they taste. I always think it must be like buying grated cheese – how can it taste as fresh as doing it yourself?

There are, of course, health benefits to eating garlic. Don’t forget to take your grain of salt, too: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/6-surprising-ways-garlic-boosts-your-health/

This year I have planted an experimental row of garlic in the Spy Test Kitchen Garden, along with the sunflower seeds I have planted for Ukraine. It should be an interesting spring. I’ll let you know how the harvests turn out.

We love our garlic here in the Spy Test Kitchens. We don’t need to follow a recipe for some of the best versions of it. Garlic bread, you ask? Easy peasy. Split a loaf of French bread lengthwise, and stick it under the broiler until it is golden brown. (Keep extra bread on hand in case you get distracted by Luke the wonder dog and find a cookie sheet of smoldering ash upon your return to the real world.) Let the bread cool, and then rub a clove (or two) of peeled garlic over the toasted surfaces. Scrape your fingertips and your knuckles while ensuring every inch gets a good, thick, garlicky coating. Drizzle the bread with excellent, fragrantly-green olive oil, and add pats of good butter. Return the bread to the warm oven to melt the butter. Remove from oven and tear the bread with your ravenous paws and enjoy it with your tender, fresh, garden salad and a nice glass of wine. Spring is here. Sit out on the back porch, listen to the crazy robins, and wait for the first fireflies.

“Too lazy to peel fresh? You don’t deserve to eat garlic.”
– Anthony Bourdain

Usually the Spy Test Kitchens are buzzing with seasonal food projects and experiments. I toyed with the idea of an April Fools’column, but I don’t think anyone can ever top the BBC’s 1957 Harvesting Spaghetti Panorama documentary (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVo_wkxH9dU), and I’m not sure the world is ready for sheer silliness right now. We are too busy keeping one eye on the next COVID variation coming for us, and the other on the terrible situation in Ukraine. I watch the news, I read the reports, I wring my hands, and I have sent some money to Chef Andrés and his World Central Kitchen. Alone, all I can do amounts to not much more than the proverbial hill of beans. But maybe I’m not alone.

Luke the wonder dog and I were on our afternoon walk the other day, and while he sniffed out the neighborhood news in the hedges along our path, I listened to one of my favorite podcasts, Table Manners. It’s a cheeky British food podcast hosted by pop star Jessie Ware, and her equally droll mother, Lennie. Each podcast episode brings prominent folks into the Wares’ kitchen for a homemade Friday night dinner, with wine and lots of chat. Sometimes they have foodie guests, like Jamie Oliver, Stanley Tucci, or Nigella Lawson. Or they have actors or singers such as Elvis Costello, Paul McCartney and Alanis Morissette. Last week their guests were longtime friends, Ukrainian chef and food writer Olia Hercules and Russian cookbook writer Alissa Timoshkina. They have had the brilliant idea of #CookforUkraine. Cook for Ukraine is a worldwide effort to raise awareness and money which provide aid to children in Ukraine through UNICEF. https://www.thrillist.com/news/nation/cook-for-ukraine-how-to-get-involved

You can make Ukrainian Pierogi or learn how to make Ukranian Borshch. The Spy Test Kitchens love little pies, or pasties, or pierogis. They can be stuffed with meat, meat and potatoes, veggies, savories, or even fruit. https://thehouseandhomestead.com/ukrainian-perogies-recipe/ They are cheap and filling, similar to all the food our mothers and grandmothers made at home: pasties, meat pies, potato pancakes, soups, chicken broth, cucumber salads, stuffed cabbage. Add sour cream and you will have a taste of Ukraine. Or you can try a borshch: https://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/ukrainian-borshch. I was convinced to become involved after hearing the description of a cucumber salad, with fresh-from-the-garden cucumbers, tomatoes, sour cream and fresh dill, which made my mouth water.

Don’t you want to dive in? Want to get started right away? Alissa Timoshkina’s Forshmak – or Deviled Eggs will be perfect for Easter: https://www.alissatimoshkina.com/blog/cookforukraine-forshmak-a-classic-ashkenazi-starter Jessie Ware swears by this easy-to-bake-with-children apple cake recipe by Olia Hercules: https://oliahercules.com/recipes/apple-cake/

Now you have a few of recipes under your belt. Now you can #CookforUkraine, have a dinner party, hold a bake sale, and feel as if you are being helpful on the world stage.
Except for waiting for the next vaccine to come to my neighborhood, there’s not much I can do but walk Luke the wonder dog, and #CookforUkraine.

Here is the link to the #CookforUkraine Instagram account. Every dish is beautiful and will inspire you to branch out and share some new recipes. https://www.instagram.com/cookforukraine/

Alissa Timoshkina’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alissatimoshkina/?hl=en

Olia Hercules’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/oliahercules/?hl=en

Table Manners podcast: https://play.acast.com/s/4d1603d1-3c56-4f4d-a5b3-7611f87011a9/623a3bb1176d7b001287fc8c

TAG your cooked dishes on Instagram: #CookForUkraine and if you can, donate:
www.justgiving.com/fundraising/cookforukraine

Chef Andrés World Central Kitchen: https://wck.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjwopWSBhB6EiwAjxmqDVEiKhtgS7oM1v7O5LNySnS69EqA0eZpgMXK1LOPm_EWxPCn12ivlhoC-48QAvD_BwE

Here is more information on how to made wise decisions about donating money to causes: Give.org https://www.give.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjwopWSBhB6EiwAjxmqDUdUlr4XIOCqFKIb5SsX8Of_fStPHWpf3nTN_6beeYvW0HnFOSa1shoC97YQAvD_BwE

“No one who cooks, cooks alone. Even at her most solitary, a cook in the kitchen is surrounded by generations of cooks past, the advice and menus of cooks present, the wisdom of cookbook writers.” ― Laurie Colwin

There are many situations that can drive us around the bend here at the Spy Test Kitchens. We are only human, after all, except for Luke the wonder dog, who is sanguine and tolerant of almost anything but a knock on the door, or a passing UPS truck. We like simple, reliable and tasty. We do not like recipes that call for extraordinary ingredients that can only be found in exotic Middle Earth market stalls one week out of the year, or in haute Brooklyn organic food co-ops. Our time is valuable, and who wants to waste it searching for obscure and expensive ingredients? Not us.

That’s why I was super pleased to find this recipe for rhubarb scones on the Food52 website. I had gone off on an internet stroll, looking for something timely and spring-y for this week’s column. I like rhubarb. It reminds me of spring, and makes me think about strawberries and cream and picnics and garden parties I have only read about. Which leads to clotted cream and scones and a long ago tea I had with a dear chum in a churchyard in England. So much of food prep is thinking of connections, and remembering ideal meals and happy times.

What is best about this recipe, not to diminish the final product, is that it is highly adaptable. What? Your grocery store doesn’t have rhubarb? Rhubarb hasn’t ripened yet in your area, so there isn’t any at the farmers’ market? Don’t panic – substitute! The comments on this recipe in Food52 (which you should always read – they can be highly amusing and just as informative as the actual recipe) are loaded with helpful suggestions. Use strawberries! Use peaches! Use strawberry jam! Try frozen rhubarb – not ideal given our penchant for fresh and local foods, but timely, considering the world of almost-post-COVID and supply chain problems. We are baking the scones, after all, which transforms the fruit. We can wait until June to decorate these scones with tiny fresh strawberries and raspberries. Right now we need some comfort food, and we need it fast.

We have a couple of grocery store choices: Reliable Foods, the one right around the corner that is the most convenient, but it only has basic fruits and vegetables, rarely anything as esoteric as a shallot, or broccolini. And the cheap white wine is never on sale. Or we can go to the Fancy Foods, a whole two miles away, that almost always has broccolini and shallots, cheap white wine specials and decent French bread. But every other price tag in the store is staggeringly high. Thus we have discovered the importance of a shopping list for each store. For Food52’s Naughty Scones I can nip quickly into Fancy Foods for the rhubarb, and scurry past the wine sale. Everything else can be had for less at Reliable Foods.

https://food52.com/recipes/4318-naughty-rhubarb-scones

There is an unexpected special ingredient, vanilla sugar, in this recipe. Most of the Food52 cooks seem undaunted by its inclusion and have just plowed on making their own. Prepared and bottled, it is available in some specialty stores, or you can follow this recipe and have it on hand for your own spontaneous scone prep: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/homemade-vanilla-sugar/

I might also poke around our Fancy Foods for some hideously expensive bottled clotted cream or Devon cream. I know homemade whipped cream is a good all-American substitute, but sometimes a daydream deserves a little boost.

Martha has a very posh rhubarb dessert, if you happen upon a great stash of rhubarb: https://www.marthastewart.com/355798/rhubarb-raspberry-pavlova?

Just in time for Passover, you can try this rhubarb compote with matzo streusel: https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/strawberry-rhubarb-compote-with-matzo-streusel-topping-109345

Maybe you want to have coffee instead of tea? Here is a Brooklyn coffee cake recipe that you can try. There is nothing in it that can’t be found at our less-than-fancy grocery store: https://www.thebrooklyncook.com/strawberry-rhubarb-coffee-cake/

And you can channel the 1950s with a rhubarb upside down cake with help from Betty Crocker. Sometimes a cake mix is worth it! https://www.bettycrocker.com/recipes/strawberry-rhubarb-upside-down-cake/78a646ac-6790-45c2-b30f-a45bdb10dbda

Start looking for fresh local fruits for your own tea party. The Chestertown Farmers’ Market is open on Saturdays, and the Easton, St. Michaels and Cambridge markets open soon.

https://www.chestertownfarmersmarket.org

https://avalonfoundation.org/easton-farmers-market

https://stmichaelsfarmersmarket.org

https://downtowncambridge.org/farmers-market/

“Tea to the English is really a picnic indoors.”
― Alice Walker