Editor’s Note: Over ten years ago, Tom McHugh, the force behind the Rock Hall’s famed music venue, the Mainstay, but perhaps more noted as the retired Vassar College and Washington College education professor, who offered his advice to newcomers on the art, science, and protocol of waving to your neighbors on the Mid-Shore from your car.
From the Spy archives from 2010:
For those of you who want an education and a primer on what the “Rock Hall Wave” actually is and what it means, I have jotted down my thoughts as a means to open a discussion and lay some important groundwork.
I set forth my disclaimers. First disclaimer, I’m not talking about the nautical waves which surround us, or the waves we give as we see people depart on a trip, but rather, the ever-present waves which take place between drivers of cars, trucks, farm machinery, hay wagons, travel lifts, school buses and other vehicles here in the Rock Hall environs.
Second disclaimer, I was born and raised in Philadelphia. If someone waved to me from another car there, I assumed either they saw smoke coming from my engine or that they mistook my car for their Aunt Masie’s 1950 Ford coupe, the same of which I drove for a long time. This is to point out that I am not born into the rich Rock Hall culture. Forever, I will wear the tag: a move-in. So I set the tone of this article as not to define the wave culture, but to seek advice and clarification from others.
So, for a start, let’s try to define the different “waves”:
There is the full hand, off the wheel wave, sometimes almost frantic in its movement from side to side
There is the one finger wave, where the driver just lifts a finger (no, not that finger!) often to acknowledge an oncoming wave from another vehicle.
There is the late wave, a jerky late response to a wave from another car
Then there is the nod wave with a slight hand movement to include a pretty decisive nod of the head.
If it is warm weather, and the driver’s window is open and an arm is extended on the window sill, there is the quick hand up, wave up, wave down wave. Quickly is the key.
And finally, when you have definitely missed an oncoming wave, and you feel great guilt because it is from your minister, or the mayor, or someone you owe money to..there is the behind the car, backward hand motion wave.
OK, those are at least starting definitions.
Who waves? Well, this one is tougher. For a long time, when I first came from the city, I assumed that people waving at me knew me. Naturally, I’d squint to see a face. Sometimes, later in the day, I’d run into that stranger on the grocery store parking lot and say “HI! I saw you on 288 today!” ……And they would return these blank stares. So, you really don’t have to know the waver to get a wave, or give one.
Are there people who don’t wave? Well, here I have to get a rant in on the younger generation, for they seem too busy texting, or have their Ipods glued to an ear, or are deafening themselves with the sounds coming from the MegaBass system in the car. Youth!
So, waving seems to be something that has just become a part of Rock Hall culture. True, women don’t seem to wave as much, but many do. Thelma Shirley doesn’t wave, Robin Wood Kurowski does, Jane Hackett does, but I don’t think that Miss Edna Marie Hubbard Sutton does, not sure…I could be wrong. Miss Helen Durding does and doesn’t….and we are all just fine with the fact she can do whatever she wishes.
I say it is a Rock Hall thing, because I find that once past the Fairlee turn, waving declines rapidly as you head to Chestertown. Of course, lawyers don’t wave, with exception of Robert H. Strong, and it would help if they did. Maybe the Historical Society could sponsor a team of expert Rock Hall Wavers to do a seminar at the Chestertown Fire House for wave-learners.
But, you know, even if people don’t wave, I’ve never had anyone say they don’t like to be waved to. And that is nice. A few years ago two of my friends who are from Hungary visited me and toured around with me for two weeks. One of them said after trip that they realized that I know everyone in Rock Hall..why did they think that? Because of the Rock Hall Wave!
I’d hate to see the wave die. But these new model cars, now with cameras in back, and automatic parallel parking, and engines that can start when you are a half mile away, what next? Well, I hope they don’t invent an automatic wave device.
By the way, does anyone remember the Leo Hicks wave?
Tom McHugh has been a teacher all of his life…teenage camp counselor, boarding school house parent, middle and high school teacher, and college professor. With undergraduate and graduate degrees from Temple University and The University of Pennsylvania, he started his college teaching career at Washington College, Chestertown Maryland. From WC, he moved to Vassar College as Chair of The Department of Education and retired in the early nineties as a full professor. He moved back to Rock Hall, Kent County Maryland to raise his two girls in the Eastern Shore setting. In 1997, Tom founded The Mainstay in Rock Hall as a community center for the arts.
Charlie Coombs says
Well, I’m here to tell you that Tom McHugh has once again brought a smile to this ole boy’s face! Although I’ve been gone from Kent County [regrettably, I’d say] for some years,but I sure do remember “the wave”. Like Tom, I was from away and was caught off guard when oncoming drivers would give the “lift the finger” wave. In time,however, I was able to master the technique and then fire back!
Now, Leo Hicks. Kind of a legend in his own time it seemed. He had a very unique wave that matched his very unique person, I remember him and his wave well. Green coverall too, sort of a motor oil aroma. Fact is, I am holding in my hand his business card,pretty old one with a phone number of 451 and his slogan ‘we sell the best and fix the rest’. On the front of the card is the Hudson automobile emblem and a wonderful poem ‘Woman’ is on the back. If memory serves, Leo gave me this card one evening in the Tavern and it now enjoys a prime spot over my bar. So, thanks Spy and thanks Tom for another large smile!
So, thank you Spy and thank you Tom for another large smile!
Ruth Tallman Wehden says
Almost everyone waves on Broadneck Road but you don’t see waves on 20 going into Chestertown.
Hugh B Silcox says
Some of you will remember my father, “Jay” Silcox (“Horton” to his mother and to long-time intimates).
My father was not a very demonstrative man. Ebullience was not part of his character.
My father spent much of his life in and around Kennedyville, but was born in Still Pond and grew up in Still Pond and Betterton. Not a Rock Hall guy.
Dad was a past master of the one-finger wave. I cannot imagine his hailing anyone in any other way.
Alice M. Barron says
The one thing I loved about moving here from NE was “THE WAVE!” It feels some homey and welcoming. I do the one finger wave generally. It’s safer as you’re able to keep control of the vehicle.
To Tom, I send a virtual wave and a mutual “Happy Birthday on the 29th”
Rhonda macfarland says
I too do the finger wave I have for yrs.. I feel like we should never meet a stranger always a friend.. We all can brighten a day with just a wave never know who’s down and it helped them.. The world can be a better place if we all just gave a wave..thank you.
Beryl Smith says
Thanks for that Tom. One correction–almost everyone waves on Coopers Lane! And it often goes beyond the one finger wave to a full hand, sort of “glad to see you” wave. I once stopped a walker who I had waved to for so long that I felt we were great friends. I just wanted to know his name!
Chuck Engstrom says
“Spy Desk” gets two thumbs-down waves for lower-case “english” (my spell corrector has marked it already) and for getting Tom’s department wrong: it was Education, not English.
Leo Hicks is a fun memory: “My daddy took me for a ride in a Chevrolet when I was three years old, and I knew right then, it was [junk].”
Carol Schroeder says
When my husband and I moved to Chestertown 14 years ago we started attending St. Paul’s, Kent which is between Rock Hall and Chestertown. I distinctly remember my husband saying, “Have you noticed they do a one finger wave here?” That wave definitely is more frequent the closer you get to Rock Hall and also on back roads. I try to do it myself and feel guilty when I notice a wave but do not have time to reciprocate. It seems like a quiet, spy-like motion for only those in the know. Do truck drivers do it more often? Covid should be bringing out the wave in all of us!
Bonnie Steen says
I remember when my parents relocated here when I was 17. The wave was something that startled me and soon made me smile. I also recall the plastic hand many had attached to their dashboard that waved back and forth. After spending several summers here, my husband and I began waving to our neighbors in NJ when we passed them in the neighborhood, even though we didn’t know their names. At first they too were startled, but then shortly they would see our car, smile and wave. Thank you Rock Hall.
Karen Hickman says
So love your article! When I moved here from New Jersey I could so relate as everyone waved! That certainly was different from Jersey! You have done a marvelous job with your description of the wonderful warm Rock Hall 👋 wave! I applaud you, no I WAVE to you Tom.
Robin Wood says
A subject dear to my heart. Around Centreville where I grew up, wavers always did the one-finger lift. Around Rock Hall, I’m much more likely to see the whole hand go up.
Kristina Bevenour says
We’re new to Rock Hall as residents since July 2020 (though we’ve spent every weekend here since 2007), and the wave is definitely a comforting sign that gives us a sense of community. You can add me to the list of lawyers who wave 😉
Rock Hall is truly the best place to live!
Paul Coleman says
This story reminded me that as a teenager in the 70’s, we were too cool to wave at a passing friend, but a double tap of the break-lights was the proper salutation. You would look in your rear view mirror for the return acknowledgment.
Deirdre LaMotte says
Well, everyone in Quaker Neck waves, always have. This is a Kent County thing, not just Rock Hall.
The best thing is to wave when in the WDC area. I’ve found many smile and wave back!
Ruthie Maloney says
I’ve really enjoyed reading this and every bit is true. My dad, Charlie Clark was a one finger waver. Even if he was lighting his pipe, he’d lift his index finger up from the match, without taking it from the pipe, but made sure he gave the courtesy wave to the oncoming vehicle, whether he knew them or not. And I remember Me. Leo Hicks, too! 😊
Meg says
Absolutely remember Leo Hicks and his wave. He was a Kent County Character. As a child I remember asking my father “who is that? He always waves at me.” LOL