In the wee hours of Sunday morning, armed employees of Perdue, Mountaire, and Tyson fowl conglomerates blocked the Rte. 445 bridge to Eastern Neck National Wildlife Refuge and occupied the Fish & Wildlife Service headquarters. They vow to remain
“until the federal government stops enforcing Total Maximum Daily Load regulations,” which limit the amount of fecal waste from chickens seeping into local waterways, including Chesapeake Bay.
Waving an AR-15 and sporting a Glock sidearm, Bob Sidley, of Millsboro DE, the self-styled leader of the armed insurrectionists, stated, “this is a peaceful protest. Sure, we’ve got automatic weapons and we’ll shoot any gummint officer who tried to step onto the island, but we remain peaceful.”
“Hey, we’re not domestic terrorists, just patriots,” shouted Sidley over the bridge using a megaphone. He claims he and his fellow poulterers plan to occupy this unprotected wildlife sanctuary “indefinitely,” or “at least until the federal tyrants say it’s OK for us to resume industrial chicken manufacturing without any sort of regulations.” “We’re tired of taking blame for polluting the bay.”
The Kent County sheriff’s office is monitoring the situation, according to press spokesperson Frieda Callow. “A recipe for disaster,” she said…
Gren Whitman
Rock Hall
Robert Kramer says
Gren… you just don’t recognize a well regulated militia when you see one.
Gren Whitman says
A quick-witted local citizen was able to talk down the occupiers at Eastern Neck NWR today by passing himself off as a staff member for Rep. Andy Harris (R-MD 1ST).
He informed the protesters that Mr. Harris agrees with them “100 percent” and would relay every one of their anti-environmental demands directly to the President at the White House.
“I assured them that the Obama administration does everything Representative Harris tells them to, and they believed me, apparently.”
The last insurrection-minded occupier departed the bridge on Rte. 445 at 4:00 p.m.
(This is not the first time this quick-witted local has acted anonymously.
“Hey, who do you think persuaded the Mills Branch giant windmills folks to go solar?”)
When asked to comment, Congressman Harris was confused. “I said what?” he asked.
Chris Carey says
Gren, I’ll give it to you. You do like attention.
Joe Lill says
A well organized militia or just an offshoot of the Shor-Qaeda terrorist group?
Todd Hughes says
With sunset Monday Rock Hall Md. took on the aspect of anything but ” The Pearl of the Chesapeake ” as civil unrest for the third day in the row led to rioting and looting in the downtown area.
What started as a routine nuisance animal call on Friday has embroiled this sleepy Kent County town into one of its worse case scenario…a widespread uprising!
Seeing what they thought was a raccoon acting strangely the Kent County Human society picked up the Grey family pet raccoon, Franky , a very popular local celebrity.
Failing to secure the friendly rodent when the wardens get to the shelter in Chestertown they found that he had fallen out of the back of the truck breaking his neck.
Rock Hall exploded after a video emerged of the Warden dragging a little , limp Franky into the truck.
Mrs. Grey surrounded by distraught neighborhood children kept repeating” Little Franky never hurt no body! All I know is that little Coon was fine when he went into that truck and now he is Dead!”
What started as peaceful protest soon turned into what only could be called a mob , first hit was the ” little village” by the traffic light. Finding nothing of value to loot the angry mob moved up the street. Luckily most of these buildings are vacant and damage was mostly confined to buildings that will most likely be torn down soon anyway as Mayor Jones pointed out.
The new Dollar Store was looted and burned, when asked about Franky Grey most participants claimed not to know anything about the little fellow that was a favorite of locals as they hauled their loot away to expensive cars with Pennsylvania tags parked at Bayside foods.
Hopefully with the district attorney promising real charges being brought against the Humane Shelter workers things will calm down soon.
Already some residents are talking about moving across the bay to Baltimore.
joe diamond says
I guess there is no chance we could just recognize them as a new and independent nation?
There could be a buck in it for everyone. They would be free to worship their chickens or do whatever else they might want with them. We could send diplomats with foreign aid packages. They could demand reparations in exchange we could agree not to invade…….this could grow into a win-win for all!
Joe