Like most people, you’ve probably heard that activity and exercise are good for you. The frailty and decreased energy often associated with aging is largely due to muscle loss.  (Here’s where I can’t resist adding the old adage “Use it or lose it”.)  So true.  

Being physically active on a daily basis is one of the healthiest things you can do for yourself.  As a matter of fact, exercise is THE key to maintaining your mobility and prolonging your INDEPENDENCE!  It is central to daily functioning…think about it.  Your daily activities like getting out of bed, rising up out of a chair, standing in the shower, carrying groceries, walking down the hall.  They all require strength and energy, and one of the best ways to keep muscles healthy and strong and to increase the body’s vigor is with mobility-enhancing exercises.  Also called strength training or resistance training, these exercises are among the best ways to fight weakness and frailty that can come with age.  If done regularly they will build bone and muscle, and help preserve your INDEPENDENCE.

So, let’s make our founding fathers proud, take back our freedom of movement and refuse to surrender to the tyranny of aging!  We may be born into a life of liberty, but we must not ever remain idle. After all, the key to INDEPENDENCE (and therefore happiness) lies in the pursuit.

Susan S. Covey is the Director of Community Center for Health and Fitness at Bayleigh Chase-Acts

There was a day when metropolitan newspapers published several editions a day.  

That meant reporters could cover a breaking news event, write about it, and then update it, with more information, for the next edition, or the one after that. 

 I faced that situation on my first day as a general assignment reporter for the Harrisburg (PA) Patriot-News.   

I had been sent to a fire in the city. Somewhat nervous but with notepad in hand, I went to the site—an abandoned building– and obtained the basic details from the fire chief on duty—the who, what, when, where and how elements, basic to all good reporting. But I was facing a deadline for the paper’s first edition. I did not believe I had enough information or time to write the whole story by the deadline. 

That’s when the City Editor admonished me not to worry, just use the information I had. “Go with what you’ve got,” he said. More details could be added in subsequent editions.  

For those of us in the country’s “aging population,” isn’t “going with what we’ve got” good advice for lots of circumstances, especially those involving physical challenges?

Go with what we’ve got….

If sight or hearing is diminished,

If legs aren’t as strong as they used to be,

If joints ache 

If energy levels aren’t up to snuff,

If balance is a challenge, 

Or breathing is difficult,

If chronic pain persists,

If tremors or dizziness annoy us,

Or lapses of memory frustrate us, 

Let’s resolve to “go with what we’ve got.”   

Do the very best we can with today’s story. 

There will be time to add more paragraphs tomorrow. 

Just do it. 

Ross Jones is a former vice president and secretary emeritus of The Johns Hopkins University. He joined the University in 1961 as assistant to President Milton S. Eisenhower. A 1953 Johns Hopkins graduate, he later earned a Master’s Degree at Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism.

Whether you are trying to do pull-ups, carrying luggage or opening a stubborn jar, a strong grip is important in a variety of exercises as well as everyday activities. What you may not realize is that your grip may also be indicative of overall health. A study in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research concluded that grip strength is a predictor of muscular endurance and overall bodily strength. Other studies have found that a stronger grip correlates with a lower risk of heart attack and stroke. Researchers say the findings definitely suggest a link between heart health and muscle strength.

Because general hand health is important, extension as well as flexion in the fingers, you may need to build the muscles on both the top side and palm side of your hands.

Exercising all parts of your hand will also help you avoid creating an imbalance between the muscles that help you open and close your hands. And, because overworking only the muscles used to closed your hands, could lead to tendonitis, try strengthening both sides of your mitts by shoving your hand into a bowl of warm uncooked rice or sand and extend and flex your fingers.

There are actually three types of grip strength, namely crush, pinch and support. Each one lends itself to the overall sturdiness of your grasp. The crush grip is the strength between your fingers and your palm, which helps you shake hands or crumple up a piece of paper. The pinch grip is the strength between your fingers and thumb, the one used to grab a piece of paper, for instance. The ability to hold onto something such as a bag handle for a long period of time, is called support grip.

How can you improve your grip? Here are a few simple moves:

Place a dumbbell in your hand and then let it roll down your hand and catch it with the tip of your fingers.

Gripper squeeze: Using a hand gripper/exerciser or a stress ball you may have at home, flex your fingers into your palm and out for twenty seconds.

Newspaper roll: After you’ve read the Sunday paper, place your hand on top of one sheet, pulling the paper in with your fingertips until you roll the paper into a ball.

Pinch moves: Press each fingertip to your thumbs and hold a few seconds, then open your fingers in a stretched position for a few seconds and proceed to the next finger and thumb, etc.

Susan Covey is the director of Health and Fitness at Acts Bayleigh Chase

Am I crazy? So the truth is that I’ve been contemplating going back to grad school to get my Ph.D. for some time. I started the process nearly 50 years ago (I’m 73) and have been increasingly frustrated that I never finished what I started. It gnaws at me like a bad hangnail day after day. It’s been on my mind so much as of late ( and perhaps due to the pandemic), that last year I sat myself down in front of the computer and researched online programs that interest me in the field of organizational development and leadership,  programs established in both business schools and schools of education. 

My goal – it’s a bit vague – if I were truthful I’d say it was for personal fulfillment. But I’d also like to spend my time continuing to build and enhance a program that I helped develop at the University of Maryland (UMD) training leaders from the emerging markets in urban planning and development, finance and smart growth. 

I plunged into the admission process, sending out 7 applications. Now I haven’t filled out an application like that in many, many moons. UGH! …21 letters of recommendation from friends and former co-workers, 23 personal statements and hours and hours contemplating what I want to do with this degree )primary question asked both orally and in writing by each and every school).

The end result was acceptance at all 7 schools ranging from NYU to Baylor to USC. USC is my school of choice. The Program is a joint program in the School of Business and the School of Education in the area of Organizational Development and Leadership – looking at new forms of organization and leadership styles for the 21st Century. Armed with this information I hope to make my program at UMD richer and more innovative. 

USC’s program is 3 years long full time, both online and residency. Twenty four students were accepted out of a pool of 430. Average age of accepted students is 32….and then there’s me: 73. I like that. Being with younger people will be invigorating and thrust me into a pool of learners who are cutting edge.

Balancing pragmatism and intellectual interests is not an easy task for me since the two unfortunately don’t merge well. I have to make a decision within 2 weeks. Yes or No. I’m torn. It’s enormously expensive, time consuming, mostly on line and thus (I think) technically difficult. As many have counseled me: so you want to sit in a classroom with everyone more than half your age and with whom you share very little in common and frankly, Bruce, what’s it going to bring you in the final analysis?

I believe I know the answer and which way I’m leaning…Yes, I do want to sit in that classroom and no I don’t have a pat answer for what it will bring me: perhaps a bit of happiness, perhaps some fulfillment or perhaps a whole lot of frustration. Who knows? I have no idea! 

They say college is wasted on the young! I’m about to disprove that old adage. After all, 73 is the new 53.

On a personal note my grand niece is a sophomore at UCLA and this just might cause a kind of wonderful, crazy family feud!  UCLA vs. USC! Could be fun!

GO TROJANS!

Bruce Purdy is a resident of Oxford, Maryland. 

While it is never the case that the Spy has received a bad answer from our “Ask Irma” host, Irma Toce, we were a bit surprised by her response to our most recent inquiry this month.

Our inevitable question was, in this December of COVID, how do the region’s seniors survive the challenge of not seeing loved ones during the holidays.

Rather than offer tips for planning and envisioning a different kind of celebration, she started our conversation with the simple recitation of lyrics she had found on social media with no author attributed. In listening to it again, we saw no reason not to make this her formal response to the most challenging of challenges for families.

This video is approximately two minutes in length. For more information about Londonderry on the Tred Avon please go here.

I’ve been a Registered Nurse for more than 20 years. As a hospice nurse, I have been up close and personal with death and dying. I’ve held space for patients and their loved ones through difficult and challenging times.

The pandemic, social distancing and hunkering down have given me time to reboot. I’ve reprioritized my life, coming face to face with my own mortality. The possibility of my own death prompted me to update my Advanced Directives and have further conversations with my sons. It has also given me renewed purpose to share my knowledge and experience.

As a hospice nurse, I’ve helped hundreds of people with their end of life experience, ranging from young adults to someone who was 106 years old. Women, men, affluent, poor, from grocery clerks to US Senators, doctors, lawyers, CEOs of multi-million dollar corporations and farmers. Some were better prepared than others and had a more peaceful end of life experience. For those who struggled, the most common denominator was fear.

The fear of death

The sense of fear was palpable when I entered a patient’s home. Family members often said, “I feel like I am signing a death warrant.” They ignored the fact that a disease process was ravaging their loved one’s body. This prevented meaningful conversations which could have helped them understand what their loved one was thinking and feeling and what they wanted. The family and loved ones now had to guess.

Fear adds to the suffering that accompanies death. It causes people to miss the beauty and sacredness of the end of a person’s journey on Earth. To be present and validate a person’s existence is very powerful. Unfortunately, most people miss this amazing experience because they are afraid, unprepared, or too busy with chores. They don’t have the emotional wherewithal to be present. After witnessing this for many years, I made a decision to leave hospice, even though I love that work, to pursue my calling.

Connecting the Dots in Healthcare

I understand that people can’t accomplish all of the important conversations in the last two weeks of life. That’s why I founded Connecting the Dots in Healthcare. It’s a way to help people plan their end of life journey, not their imminent death. It’s a service that provides information and guidance to help people formulate a meaningful end of life plan that reflects who they are. Most people want to avoid thinking about death but those who do make things so much better for themselves and the people they love.

Meeting Tom

When I was a new nurse working the hospital night shift, I cared for a kind, sweet gentleman who was a dialysis patient. I’ll call him Tom. He was in his 70s and had been a frequent patient because dialysis was no longer working. He needed hospitalization to regulate and support the function of his organs which were deteriorating because his kidneys were failing.

One night when making rounds, I noticed that Tom was awake and asked if he needed anything. He told me that he just couldn’t bear the thought of more dialysis treatments. He loved his family and they loved him very much. They needed him to keep fighting.

I asked Tom if he told his wife how he felt. “Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” he said. “That would hurt her too badly.” I asked if he realized why he had so many hospitalizations. Tom said that the dialysis treatments weren’t as effective but I could tell that he didn’t see the big picture.

I looked into his eyes and asked Tom if he wanted to know what it all meant. He nodded. I explained that dialysis had benefited him in the past but now the stress of the treatments and the disease process were causing other organs to fail. I took his hand and explained that none of these treatments were going to restore his health. He wasn’t going back to a normal life. His life was going to be a series of extended hospitalizations with more dialysis treatments and tests until he died. Or, it was possible that he might die during the treatment.

Tom was silent for awhile. I asked if he wanted me to help him have a conversation with his family. He agreed, so arrangements were made with his wife and daughter to visit while I was working. I helped initiate the conversation and Tom was able to take over. There were lots of tears as his family came to grips with reality. This gentle man was finally able to have a meaningful discussion with the people he loved most. When they understood how he felt, they made a decision based on love. This wonderful man went home and was able to enjoy his remaining time without being hooked up to machines or being poked and prodded by strangers. He died surrounded by the people and things he loved.

Several weeks later I received a note from Tom’s daughter. She shared how difficult it was for her now that her father was gone and how sad she was. She was grateful for having that hard conversation. The brief time at home with her father was beautiful with many meaningful conversations. She and her mother had no regrets. They never had to guess whether they made the right decisions because Tom told them what he wanted.

I will never forget that experience. It taught me the power of open, honest communication.

Clara’s story

Working as a hospice nurse years later, one of my patients was a 96-year-old woman with end-stage dementia. We’ll call her Clara. She had been cared for by two of her seven children. She had a very large wound as a result of extended bed rest and she was totally dependent for all of her activities of daily living.

Unfortunately, Clara never talked with her children about her end of life care and now dementia made it impossible. As with many families, caring for an aging parent usually falls to one or two children who make significant sacrifices. They perform every act of care including physical care which can be very taxing.

When Clara was in hospice, the children who never contributed to her care arrived and began challenging decisions. This resulted in verbal altercations which escalated. Family meetings were arranged and some of the members were banned from the hospice house.

This sweet, helpless woman overheard the chaos. How could Clara have peace in this atmosphere? When this lovely woman died, there was so much arguing and turmoil that the police were called.

There is no single answer to prevent this type of situation because people come to situations with their personal baggage. However, if Clara had talked with her children before she became ill, it may have made a difference. If she had a conversation with her doctor and created an Advanced Directive and a MOLST (Maryland Order for Life-Sustaining Treatment), the daughters who cared for her would’ve known what to do and had legal support for their decisions.

Tell your story

These stories are at opposite ends of the spectrum. The common denominator is communication. It’s important to tell your story so that your loved ones know what you want. You can name a person to make decisions when you no longer can. You get to decide what’s important and ensure that the end of your life reflects how you lived.

Our lives are a journey to our death. There is a beginning, a middle, and an end. Along the way, we prepare for everything, from the food we eat to the clothes we wear, the school we go to, the job we take, where we vacation, whether we marry or remain single, who gets our money and possessions … everything but how we want to die.

We are all going to die. Pre-COVID-19, it was fairly easy to forget our own mortality until it was too late. This pandemic has brought the fear that surrounds death out into the open. People are confronted with it every day and it is forcing them to think and talk about it. Fear is not one-dimensional. It is not just fear of death. There is fear of the unknown, fear of pain, fear of letting someone down, fear of unresolved conflicts, fear of saying goodbye, and fear of dying alone.

Education usually helps to assuage fear. When something is understood there is a sense of control. Take the time now to have important conversations with the people who will carry out your end of life wishes. It will help you and is a very thoughtful gift for them.❖

Coming up in part two: Why it’s difficult to talk about death and plan the end of life plus documents to make the process easier.

Dot Mayorga has been a nurse over 20 years serving the residents in Caroline, Dorchester, Talbot and Queen Aanes counties. She has worked as a medical- surgical nurse in Easton Memorial Hospital, a case manager Home Health, Hospice nurse with Shore Health, and Wound Care nurse with Shore Regional Health System. She currently is a triage nurse with Choptank Community Health Services.