Your Side of the Bed by Jamie Kirkpatrick

You’re probably aware that we—that is to say, my wife and I—have a small home in Chestertown, so small, in fact, that we call it SRO: Standing Room Only. One of the by-products of our housing situation is that when anything new comes into the house, the question one of us inevitably asks is, “Where are we going to put this?” The answer is always, “On your side of the bed.”

That’s easier said than done. There’s already a lot on her side and my side, everything from our computer printer to suitcases, shoes, two outdoor plants wintering over inside, a stack of books, a humidifier, and a large cedar chest full of next/last (take your pick) season’s clothes. To make matters worse, even the space under the bed is already claimed: storage bins, some artwork that has yet to find a permanent home on a shelf or a wall, even the bulky case where my bagpipes have resided, unused, since the onset of COVID. Sigh.

The attic might be a solution, but it involves a pull-down staircase and some careful footholds that are increasingly difficult for us to navigate. Plus, a lot of Christmas paraphernalia lives up there for eleven months of the year. To be blunt, there’s just not very much freeboard, anywhere.

But somehow we make do. I like to think that whatever furniture or artwork or dinnerware or knick-knacks that we use or display have risen to the top, cream-like. In these cramped quarters, if you’re used and enjoyed, it means you have passed muster and become part of the family. You’ve proved yourself worthy. You’ve won. In Darwinian terminology, you’ve survived by being the fittest!

There is, of course, attrition. Styles change, things break. Like the player who has toiled for years in the relative obscurity of the minor leagues, suddenly there’s an opening on the big league roster and its your turn to shine. You better be ready to make the most of that opportunity because if you’re not, someone or something else will come along and take your place.

But back to the issue of one side of the bed or the other. The truth is that if we want something to be part of our lives at SRO, we’ll find a place for it. There’s always room chez nous. We’re a naturally inclusive couple and we have no intention of abandoning our DEI roots. Exclusivity and minimalism may have its place somewhere in this crazy world, but not at SRO. That’s not to say we’re hoarders. We have standards. There is a certain set of dinnerware left over from my bachelor days that has been on my wife’s chopping black for a few years, but so far, I’ve been able to hold her at bay. Like faith, hope, and love, my old dinner plates and pasta bowls abide, and they’re not even on my side of the bed. Yet.

Cramped as it is, we love SRO. We’ve talked about finding bigger quarters that can give some extra space and accommodate the grandkids, but the conversation always returns to what we love most about our small house: our in-town location, our welcoming front porch, and our wide and warm circle of friends. There’s always more than enough room for them!

I’ll be right back.

Jamie Kirkpatrick is a writer and photographer who lives in Chestertown. His work has appeared in the Washington Post, the Baltimore Sun, the Philadelphia Inquirer, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, the Washington College Alumni Magazine, and American Cowboy Magazine. His most recent novel, “The Tales of Bismuth; Dispatches from Palestine, 1945-1948” explores the origins of the Arab-Israeli conflict. It is available on Amazon and in local bookstores.