What I Learned from the Paris Olympics by J.E. Dean

Les Jeux Olympiques de Paris sont terminus. Well-deserved thanks are due to the athletes, France, Paris, the Olympic Committee, and everyone else who supports the games. I even want to thank the NBC hosts, who did an excellent job bringing the games to those of us who did not travel to the City of Light. The network deserves additional kudos for providing viewers the opportunity to watch events in “real time” rather than having to wait for the evening replays.

Over the weekend, even before Tom Cruise slid down a cable to pick up the Olympic flag and deliver it to Los Angeles, the host city of the 2028 games, I started jotting down what I learned over the last two weeks.

At the top of the list, it is ridiculous for any country to claim to have “won the Olympics.”  Yes, I am proud that the US won 126 medals, 40 of them gold, but it is not proof that the U.S. is better than second-place finisher China, who, incidentally, also won 40 golds. The US entered 592 athletes in 34 sports. China sent only 388 athletes. Shouldn’t we stop talking about whether the US won the Games and simply celebrate the impressive achievements of individual athletes?

I also realized, admittedly for the fifth or sixth time, that every competition should not be held in the host city, especially if there is no suitable venue to hold a particular competition. In fairness to Paris, the Olympic surfing competition was held in Tahiti. The Seine, apparently, does not lend itself to surfing. Or maybe the foul water would have damaged surfboards. (Although SNL Weekend Update co-host and commentator for surfing Olympics Colin Jost had a less than stellar experience. He injured his left foot on the island’s coral reefs which then became infected when ants invaded the wounds. So much for paradise.)

Tahiti aside, I note that both Paris and LA have hosted previous Summer Olympic games. I would like to see parts of the Olympics held in cities and countries that could not host all competitions but would do a fantastic job hosting one or two events. Dozens of cities, for example, could easily host Olympic basketball or soccer competitions. There would still be a host city where most events are held, but the economic benefits of the games would be shared more equitably. Countries in Africa, South America, Central America, Eastern Europe and elsewhere could benefit. 

Let’s talk about the sports included in the games. Did you watch Raygun, the Australian break dancer? Her performance went viral. She was not awarded a single point for her “dance,” which included rolling around on the floor and imitating the hopping of a kangaroo. I may have missed something, but breakdancing, which the Olympics called “Breaking” doesn’t belong in the Olympics. I also learned that LA has already decided to drop the “sport” from the 2028 games (although not in response to Raygun’s dance).

Other weird sports include all the shooting sports. Paris spent millions to keep gun violence from spoiling the games (and a lot more). Maybe it’s time to drop guns from the Games. The only thing I heard about the shooting this year was that the Turks sent a shooter who wore no special glasses or ear protection when he participated in a pistol competition. The story I read was titled, “Turkey sends a hit man to the Olympics,” which included a photo of the athlete, who was a good shot. He looked like a hitman.

Did you watch athletes competing in the men’s individual triathlon swim in the Seine? ShoreRivers would not have recommended it. Some athletes vomited after their swims. Others reported having to dodge various “hazards” during their swims. France must have at least one clean river. The competitions that involved the Seine should have been moved to a cleaner river. Why put healthy Olympians into a sewer? 

A few other “lessons.”  First, do not try to make an ecological statement at the games by not air conditioning the athletes’ rooms at the Olympic village. Paris gets super hot in the summer.

Second, the beds provided for the athletes were made of cardboard. Again, an effort to make the games “ecologically responsible” led to a decision not appreciated by the athletes who had to sleep on cardboard beds. The US should buy as many cardboard beds as possible for use in Guantanamo Bay.

Third, there are still too many “dust ups” with the judging. The latest controversy over who gets the bronze medal—USA’s Jordan Chiles or Romanian Ana Barbosu—has caused way too much consternation for both the athletes involved and the two countries. It all involves the US coach’s claim that Chiles did not get enough credit for the difficulty of her floor exercise and the Romanian coach claiming that the appeal came four seconds later than the one minute allowed for an appeal. The U.S now claims that it has video that shows that the appeal did occur within the one-minute limit. All this has caused Chiles to get off social media since she is getting a ton of inappropriate, racist comments. 

Fourth, we heard, again, that the Olympics cost too much. Here’s an idea, why not simplify the opening and closing ceremonies? This year’s Olympic opening ceremonies were weird (yes, just like J.D. Vance and his running mate). The closing ceremonies were also far too long. Want to save millions in production costs? Why not focus more on sports, and less on pomp and ceremony?

I could go on. I am proud to be an American, but the “parade of nations” is too much nationalism for me. History teaches us that nationalism contributes to international tension. Just ask Ukraine and Taiwan.

Au revoir, pour l’instant.

J.E. Dean is a retired attorney and public affairs consultant. He writes on politics, government, and, too infrequently, other subjects.